André Leon Talley
Live Blog: Reading September's Vogue
Here goes nothing something, we hope. We’ve never live
blogged before, and to our knowledge, no one else has live blogged a
magazine before. There may be a reason for that. Guess we’ll find out!
We should mention that we have not even opened the September issue of Vogue
until now, nor have we read other blogs’ takes on the issue. We have no
idea what to expect and only the most optimistic of hopes that we’ll be
done before Conan O’Brien starts.
André Leon Talley's Wardrobe Confuses Us
André Leon Talley, Vogue’s editor-at-large, wore these two ensembles at Valentino’s forty-fifth anniversary celebration in Rome.
Can someone more fashion-inclined than we are explain this? Was his luggage lost again, or should we expect to see men wearing similar outfits this fall? We truly do not understand.
Images via Oh No They Didn't and Getty Images
Lowest Common Denominator: Vogue, April
4: Number of body types to “embrace” on the cover (towering, tiny, thin, or top heavy)
10: Number of pages between Scarlett Johansson on the cover and Scarlett Johansson in a Louis Vuitton ad
3: Number of Louis Vuitton items André Leon Talley requires to play tennis, according to “Contributors” on page 128 (gym bags, racket covers, and mufflers)
0: Mentions of Louis Vuitton in “Scarlett Letters,” a profile of Johansson
0: Amount Johansson claims to exercise
More than 0: Amount plus-size model Ashley Graham exercises (“I’m firm...Nothing jiggly. I have a trainer I work with.”)
$315: Price of a Martin Margiela bodysuit with built-in shoulder pads
1: Number of models referring to her own shoulders as too large, saying she looks “like a football player” (Paulina Porizkova, who previously whined about her looks in Marie Claire)
4: Clothing size worn by model Hilary Rhoda, as stated in “Be A Sport”
12: Size worn by model Crystal Renn, reported in the same editorial
8: Number of pages featuring Hilary in “Be a Sport”
5: Number of pages devoted to Crystal in the same feature
At least 1: Opinions conveyed as fact (“It’s a fact: Clothes look better on a thin person,” in “Walking a Thin Line”)
At least 1: Completely erroneous details reported as fact in the same story (Apparently, Live Journal is “one of the most popular fashion blogs.”)
The Week: Now Officially Sick of Jennifer Hudson
• Marie Claire staffers are reportedly fleeing the magazine. What, are they not getting enough screen time in “The Masthead with Marie Claire”?
• Elle Executive Editor Alex Postman tells Mediabistro that, when interviewing candidates for a job, she asks about their reading habits. Good news, job applicants: If you’ve managed to read every word on the magazine’s cover, you’re hired. (And we promise to never trot out that joke again!)
• Catfight! Jennifer Hudson and André Leon Talley are still arguing over that ugly bolero.
• And these excerpts from former Jane staffer Karen Cohen Yampolsky’s “novel” about Jane Pratt reveal the inner machinations of the magazine industry. Also, they reveal that Yampolsky is an exceedingly bad writer.
Ruffles Are Powerful, and Other Startling Insights from Vogue's Anna Wintour
So we’ve been avoiding the March issue of Vogue because, frankly, that cover photo of Jennifer Hudson bent over, mouth open in agony, scares the hell out of us. But when we found the courage to flip open the
magazine, we only had to make it past 150 pages of advertising to find something equally as frightening—Anna Wintour’s “Letter from the Editor.” (Good thing we didn’t encounter “Life with André” in those pages, or we probably would have relegated this issue to use as a doorstop. Or a bludgeon. It’s heavy.)
Anyway, now that Kim France appears to have renewed her grasp on reality (for now, at least), it’s time to crown a new editor-in-chief whose monthly notes are completely lacking in pretty much every way possible.
Let’s get cracking, shall we? Unlike every other editor-in-chief on the planet, Anna’s letter requires two full pages (albeit with a healthy—and much-needed—15-page ad break in the middle). Taking it from the top:
When we considered which face belonged on this month’s cover—this is our annual Power Issue—the name on the lips of my editors was Jennifer Hudson. There is no more inspiring example of the power of talent and tenacity than her rise from America Idol reject to Golden Globe winner.
Right. There is no victory more vindicating than Hudson’s, no tale of adversity more incredible. American Idol contestants are apparently among the most down-trodden citizens of this planet.
The question of body image is a current one, and I can’t think of a more compelling and beautiful argument for the proposition that great fashion looks great on women of all sizes than the sight of Hudson in a Vera Wang dress on the red carpet.
On the red carpet, sure, but in the pages of the magazine? Don’t hold your breath.
The model Natalia Vodianova is another woman whose charm and determination are as empowering as her beauty…
Oh, is beauty empowering? That’s not what we’ve been told.
I’ve always believed that the great models develop the power to exert an individual influence—moral, aesthetic, commercial—on the culture.
Can someone please give us an example of a model having a “moral” influence? Perhaps because it’s late at night, but we’re having trouble coming up with a single instance to justify Anna’s statement. Unless Naomi Campbell hurling things at the help is somehow morally compelling.
(One thought about Ivanka: I’ve watched her since she was a teenager, and I continue to take great pleasure in seeing her develop into a woman of real substance.)
Sure, if substance is constituted by having your assistant help you cheat at Monopoly.
[Nancy Pelosi]’s stylish now, of course; but more importantly, she’s made history in becoming the first woman Speaker.
Good thing she mentioned that Speaker Pelosi’s stylish! That’s the true accomplishment here, isn’t it?
Olivier Theyskens’s spectacular new dress for Nina Ricci, photographed by Irving Penn, is designed to resemble a bird about to take flight. Jennifer Hudson aside, I can’t think of a more hopeful emblem of the power we celebrate this month.
This missive mentioned politicians, models, and Ivanka Trump, and a “megaruffle” dress and former reality-show contestant (yeah, yeah, we know she has an Oscar) are what represents power? Funny, we thought power might involve something like the ability to, oh, write something meaningful to millions of women every single month, but we guess we were wrong.
Or we were right. We bought the magazine and read every word she wrote, didn’t we?
Previously: Wintour: Believe In Yourself, Believe In Your Staff
Telling It Like It Isn't in Vogue
As if the cover of February’s Vogue wasn’t terrible enough—though the
rabbit is certainly an original touch—inside, André Leon
Talley coughed up what might be his most obsequious
name-dropping column yet,
which is a crowning achievement indeed.
Another pivotal fashion moment in Made for Each Other [a book about the intersection of fashion and the Academy Awards] is Nicole Kidman's absinthe-green dress from John Galliano's first couture collection for Dior, in 1997. I couldn't help but notice, though, ahem, that [author Bronwyn] Cosgrave left out how I was accidentally involved in that dress choice, too.
Except that two paragraphs earlier, he said the author had
researched all this history like a virtuoso.
And now he mentions he’s been left out? Either the research is lacking, or his role in the “pivotal” decision wasn’t quite as important as he seems to think it was. Decide for yourself:
...Kidman had her radar switched on, and had been scouting about Paris for something new to wear to the Oscars. When she asked my advice, I told her it was surely thumbs-up for that Dior absinthe-green (which, mind you, was not a look appreciated by everyone).
Well, “accidentally involved” does seem to accurately sum up his contribution to that particular moment in fashion history. Anyway, there’s nothing to suggest that Kidman specifically sought him out. (He met her while observing a photo shoot she was doing with Karl Lagerfeld.) Besides, he’s not exactly anonymous—he probably can’t order a skim latte without the barista asking what he thinks of her shoes. So, yes, we think the author can be forgiven for not, uh, giving André his due in this scenario.
Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge.
Well, I am very much consoled for this tiny oversight—and I'm only kidding, dear readers!—…
Oh, sure, he’s joking. Which is why he bothered to, you know, bring it up in a widely read magazine.
…by the fact that I, your faithful correspondent, will make my appearance on the Oscar red carpet when the telecast airs on February 25…And then you can look for me to tell it like it is as the Hollywood galaxy glitters and glides into the Kodak Theatre at zero hour.
Tell it like it is? Actually, we think Andre’s strength is telling it in the most relentlessly self-aggrandizing way possible.
Keeping a Talley on André in Vogue
Something unusual happened when we
sat down to read André Leon Talley’s column in the November issue of Vogue. Sure, the usual wave of nausea threatened to
overwhelm our senses, but for one brief moment, we
happened to agree with one
of his pronouncements. Despite his past
transgressions—for instance, acting like wearing Miu Miu shoes to high school
is perfectly normal—he managed to string together one perfectly reasonable
sentence.
If you ask me, most grown women, women with careers, are not dying to revisit the trapeze dress or the baby doll.
Totally logical, isn’t it? We were nearly shocked into speechlessness.
Unfortunately, Talley is, at this point in his piece, digging himself out of a hole. Why? Because near the beginning of the piece, he said this:
“It is very elegant, this suite of rooms,” said my friend Manolo Blahnik, who elevatored down from his room upstairs…
Elevatored? Elevatored?
Good thing André specified, because otherwise we would have thought that Blahnik, oh, teleported from one place to the other. And had he not chosen to coin such an unfortunate (and unnecessary term) for intra-building travel, we might have finished the article thinking that André was a levelheaded kind of guy who earned his seat in the fashion-critic pantheon with cogent commentary.
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