Accessories

Bazaar Justifies Luxury Price Tags, Own Existence

For a long time, we’ve been peeved by magazines’ skewed ideas of what constitutes affordable. (Never mind the debate over whether fashion prices are deliberately exclusionary.) So pervasive is the notion that $150 is a reasonable expense for a belt that we occasionally have to wonder why our wardrobe contains so few expensive pieces. Will we ever own a pair of red-soled Louboutins? Is there some expense we could cut from our budget to be better able to afford a Balenciaga bag? Are we flat-out deluded thinking that our ensembles look like they don’t come from H&M? Not that we want those things, exactly, but we want to be able to afford them.Bazaar_march08_lindsay_lohan

And then we had a sobering experience. We were at MAGIC, talking to a sales rep. As she showed us a handful of modal t-shirts, we asked the wholesale price. “$37,” she replied.

Our response? “Oh, so that’s really accessible.” The sales rep nodded and moved on to pick up a hooded sweatshirt, and we started to hate ourselves. At a wholesale price of $37, that t-shirt likely retails for at least $70. Which, even if money were no object, is an awful lot of cash to spend on a mere tee, and $70 is certainly not a mass-market price for a little cotton shirt. But in the moment we deemed that particular price point “accessible,” we wholeheartedly believed it. We were sleep-deprived, we’d already spent days walking the never-ending aisles of the show seeing pieces whose prices were far more unjustified, and, well, the t-shirts were baby-blanket soft. (We just feel fortunate that we snapped back to reality before we broke out the Visa card at the Fashion Show Mall later in the week.)

All of which is a really long way of saying that, having been immersed in a fantasy land of desirable consumer goods, we sort of understand how writers for Bazaar choke up the nerve to refer to a $300 cardigan as a “steal.” So our interest was piqued by “Why Does It Cost So Much?” in the March issue. Why, indeed?

Unfortunately, the article devotes just one brief paragraph to the actual reasons why apparel and accessories bear exorbitant price tags. Discard any notions of getting an educational glimpse inside the industry! Rather, the focus is on “how to cope and still look cool.” Here’s what writer Nandini D’Souza had to say:

...I held up my beloved pair of silver Dries Van Noten leather sandals...“How much do you think these cost?” I asked my husband, playing devil’s advocate. “Flip-flops are cheap,” he analyzed in a finance-thinking way. “But since they’re designer, $40, maybe $50.”

Until then, I had never doubted the $300-plus I had shelled out a few years ago for them…I started questioning my sanity: More than $300 for flip-flops?...I had thought I was one of the more frugal fashion editors around. But I wondered, when did everything get so expensive, and when did I stop noticing?

This apparently sincere question is followed by a litany of agreement from people who can actually afford those $300 flip-flops. Which, you know, is annoying. Can you really complain that $500 is too much to pay for shoes when, in fact, you have the ability to buy $500 shoes? (Tangential whine: when did “social” become acceptable parlance for “socialite”?)

“Social” Nina Griscom says,

“The prices today are so astronomical.”

And designer Jenni Kayne weighs in:

“You can’t get a pair for less than $500; $300 used to be the normal expensive shoe.”

So who’s to blame for these ultra-pricey pieces? Designers! Phillip Lim explains himself.

“A dress can cost you $20,000. That’s a whole lot of money,” he says. “You can renovate your kitchen for that, or for some people that’s their salary or their child’s school tuition. You start to feel guilty.”

Start?

For one, lines like Lim’s 3.1 Phillip Lim and Kayne’s label are filling the yawning gap between high and low. Socialite turned designer Tory Burch says, “The whole reason I started my company is because fashion is expensive.”

Tory Burch also charges $195 for a striped cotton tee, so forgive us if we aren’t exactly in agreement with her assessment of “expensive.”

To be fair, the article does give some reasonably good (if not novel) advice about not buying things just because they’re on sale, and recommends that women develop a uniform that suits their body type and lifestyle so they don’t feel the need to give in to every passing trend. However, the article gets progressively more grating, predictably returning to the justification of the positively vulgar price tags of luxury goods. What else can be expected from people whose livelihoods are dependent on the public buying costly stuff they don’t need? A chorus of fashion people rationalize their expenditures thusly:

On a $1,300 pair of Chanel boots:

“But they’re worth it, and they make everything look chic.”

On an Oscar de la Renta dress:

“…I’ll have it for the rest of my life. You can wear it again, and it never looks like last season’s dress.”

On $800 Azzedine Alaia shoes:

“Outrageous. But I wear them a lot.”

About the $7,000-and-up Kelly and Birkin bags from Hermès:

“It’s more about what’s timeless than what’s trendy.”

And our favorite, on a handbag by Yves Saint Laurent:

“I was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s only $1,595. It’s a deal!’” she recalls. “How sad is that?”

Very, very sad. Even worse is the article’s next implication. Can’t even manage to splash out on one of these “deal”s? You’re probably fat, too!

But let’s face it, not everyone can pull off those curved contours the way Jennifer Connelly did just weeks after Nicholas Ghesquiere introduced them. That doesn’t mean that that look can’t translate for a less-than-lithe nonceleb gal. “If you can’t afford the dress, get the shirt or scarf,” says [actress/designer Katie] Nehra. [emphasis ours]

Wait, we’re confused. What exactly is our problem again? Is it that we can’t afford or can’t fit into designer garb? Never mind! Here’s another plug for Phillip Lim!

…For spring, he has several alternatives to his own runway looks, including versions of a mint Grecian dress and a citron frock with a chain neckline.

At least he’s smart enough to knock off his own designs before Forever 21 does! Though we aren’t exactly sure how this reconciles with the guilt he mentioned earlier, especially when he suggests a way to acclimate to items whose prices contain a comma.

Lim’s advice for things that seem too expensive at first? “Sit on it for a few days, maybe a week.” [emphasis ours]

However, the most incredulity-inducing quote in the whole article has nothing to do with cash money:

Echoes Burch of seasonal hits, “They’re so identifiable, and I’d rather not wear something that screams what it is.”

This from a woman who puts her logo all over her line.

Ultimately, the article concludes that we should approach our wardrobes and our retirement plans in a similar manner.

The best way to stretch your dollar while still looking like a million of them is to think long-term investment...

Designer clothes as a long-term investment? Rather ludicrous coming from a magazine that tells us we need new clothes every single month.

Bazaar’s concept of “best” •  Oh, to live in such a world!  The “best buy of the day” on Bazaar’s site is a Marni necklace that retails for $1,296.  The upside?  Yesterday’s $295 cardigan from Tory Burch seems almost reasonable in comparison.

Scoping Out September Issues (Still): W

W_september_gwyneth_paltrow

We know, we know.   This issue came out weeks ago, and we’re just now getting to it?   In our defense, it only showed up in the mail on Thursday.  This issue took ages to arrive, but at least our J. Crew catalogs arrive three times a week.  Sheesh.

All right…we might as well open the magazine.   After all, the October issue is probably going to show up any minute!

The issue weighs: 4.2 pounds

Issue thickness:  just over an inch

Who’s on the cover: Gwyneth Paltrow, looking how we imagine Donatella Versace looked thirty years ago—too much brow, too much blonde, too much bronzer.  Did Gwyn even look in the mirror before she stepped in front of the camera?

Who bought the back cover: Giorgio Armani.  The model’s wearing a shirt of paillettes and strange sleeves reminiscent of chain mail that aren’t even attached to the top.  We’ll cave to leggings long before we drop cash on woven metal sleeves.

Number of ad pages between the cover and the table of contents: The table of contents starts on page 112 and continues on 205—like the rest of the September issues, this tome is absurdly ad-heavy.

Total number of pages: 640!  It’s W’s biggest issue ever! Why, according to the cover, it’s

A Fall Fashion Bonanza

A bonanza of advertising, that is!  See below. 

How many of those pages are ads: 477, about 75 percent (source: MIN Online)

Subscription cards: Three bound.   We can deal.

Cosmetic samples: Daisy by Marc Jacobs.  Eh.  The ubiquitous Fendi Palazzo, about which we still aren’t convinced.  Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb, which, yeah, lives up to its name.   That’s not a compliment.

Is it portable? We’ll just say that it felt more than a tad weird using our canvas Target tote to schlep a magazine that features a $22,650 crocodile bag.

Number of articles concerning the obscenely wealthy:  Oh, virtually all of them.   Our favorite (of the ones we bothered to read, because why torture ourselves?) was “Just Like Mom,” wherein young, super-rich women borrow clothes from their young-looking, super-rich moms.   Oh, fun!  It’s, like, recycling!

For one bash, Samantha pulled out a black and gold minidress that Jamee had donned for a New Year’s fete in Lyford Cay some thirty years ago.

Yep, totally quotidian.  Ready for the quote?

“Everyone was asking me, ‘Is that Prada?  Miu Miu?’  And it’s like, a $275 dress from Alexander’s, but it was just so incredibly chic.”

See, it’s nothing!   It’s just a dress that was crazy expensive when it was new a whole generation ago!  And that is why we eventually stopped reading the articles in this issue.

Not as annoying as we expected:  Gwyneth Paltrow’s interview.  That’s because it is actually, totally, definitively impossible to be more annoyed by her personality than we were by the photo of her feeding a rat with a sippy cup.  What the hell?

Exactly as annoying as expected: “Wild Roses,” shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott.  Because, you know, we don’t expect much from photo editorials that involve live poultry.

More annoying than we expected:  It’s a tie between the aforementioned crocodile bag and the $3,300 crocodile gloves.  For the woman who wants to spend exactly the same amount of her gloves as she did on her most recent lunchtime mini-lift.

Best pseudonym ever: Jinx Titanic, who suggested a Posh-Becks-Brad-Angelina foursome in a letter to the editor (page 304). Jinx may well be the most awesome person alive.  Update: Kate at Fishbowl LA writes that Jinx Titanic is a punk legend.  Which, yes, makes the letter even better.

InStyle: Comfort Doesn't Come Cheap

We’ve previously discussed  the complete lack of perspective apparent in the prices of items recommended byInstyle_april_halle_berry_2 our favorite magazines, but InStyle’s “Luxe Liaison,” April, sets a new standard for price-unconsciousness.

Here’s what jeweler Neil Lane has to say about his new collections, which feature admittedly lovely multi-colored diamonds:

“Just toss it on,” says Lane, who works with countless red-carpet deities.  [Ed. note: Deities?  Kind of a stretch, no?]  “I wouldn’t be successful if I made complicated jewelry.  It’s about being comfortable.”

Because, you know, $95,000 earrings and $70,000 bracelets are the embodiment of comfort. Go ahead, toss on that $13,000 ring!  Never mind that you could buy a small piece of property or a few luxury cars with that kind of money.  Neil Lane’s designs are all about ease...oh, and cash.

Marie Claire Has 20/20 Vision, Is Still Short-Sighted

Even though we wear glasses, we weren’t exactly thrilled to pieces with the beauty story “Specs Appeal” from Marie Claire’s March issue.  Why, other than the pun in the title we’ve seen a thousand times over?

This: Marie_claire_march_hilary_swank_2

Coordinate your eye makeup with the season’s hottest new accessory, and baby, u got the look!

And u got clear vision, too! Glasses are, like, way more practical than those Lucite-heel Marc Jacobs shoes on page 66!

Note:  They really did spell “you” that way in what we can only assume was a vague—and lame—reference to an eye chart.  We can’t make this stuff up.

Previously: InStyle did the same stupid thing about glasses as a fashion accessory.  When they stop writing about it, we’ll stop complaining about it.

Personality Not Necessary for Holiday Fun, Says Allure

From Allure’s “The Bewitching Hour,” December, comes some helpful advice for holiday Allure_december_ellen_pompeo_smallparties:

“I put on a really fun disco-y Dolce & Gabbana dress.  It makes me feel as if I’m someone else,” [“nightlife empress” and Bungalow 8 owner Amy] Sacco says.

Because, you know, being yourself simply isn’t enough. 

But in the unlikely event your outfit isn’t quite capable of transforming you into someone more fascinating, there’s still hope.  Sacco continues:

“And don’t forget the jewelry.  Add a little sparkle, especially if you don’t feel as of you have a sparkling personality that evening.”

Oh, okay.  Good to know that if our personality (and wardrobe) is lacking, we can still make up for it with our accessories.  Cheers!

A Bazaar Reason to Save Our Pennies

Bazaar’s “Hottest, Newest, Latest: Great Finds,” June, promotes a $160 bow-tied belt from Jovovich-Hawk:

It’s hard to resist adding another belt to your wardrobe, especially one this budget-friendly.Jennifer_aniston_june_bazaar_cover_the_b_3

That’s a joke, right?  $160 for a belt seems the polar opposite of budget-friendly to us. Seriously, that much money for a belt? Is it hand-crafted from the skin of a unicorn and is the buckle plated in platinum? Because otherwise, we’re not sure that price is justified. Or at all justifiable.

Though we find the belt’s price completely unmanageable (for us—wealthy fashionistas, spend away!), we resent that the belt is presented as an exceptionally well-priced item, which could be true for only a tiny portion of Bazaar’s readers.

Are we out of line? Perhaps a designer’s perspective on the matter will enlighten us. Here’s what Phillip Lim says on the next page in “Designer Watch”:

“I’m making clothes that look like they could work in a designer market, but they’re for people with day jobs, bills, and other things they want to spend their money on.”

Oh, got it. Apparently our expectations are indeed out of whack, because Lim’s supposedly down-to-earth collection includes a $575 jacket, a $196 belt, and $920 boots. Pricy, but his belt makes the Jovovich-Hawk one a tremendous bargain in comparison.

Exactly what kind of “day jobs” do Phillip Lim’s potential customers hold down? (Or should we ask exactly how out of touch Lim is with reality?) Because we too would like the kind of job that allows us to purchase a $798 tote and still have the bulk of our cash for other things.

Then again, maybe it’s just a matter of priorities.  If we hadn’t spent $3.50 on this issue of Bazaar, we’d be that much closer to owning one of his pieces.  Only $794.50 to go!

Shopping Online Now Even More Expensive

Bv_spring_red_1From Bazaar’s “Hottest, Newest, Latest,” March:

Get clicking!  Bottega Veneta now has online shopping.

Because the only thing stopping you from buying that $900 purse was having to make the trek to Barneys.

Photo of Bottega Veneta’s Spring 2006 runway show courtesy of
Style.com

Shop Faces Shortage of Sensitivity

From Shop Etc.’s “Hot Shopping,” February:

During a month-long hunt held every fall, Louisiana’s bayous and alligator farms supply about 90% of the world’s alligator skins, which are used by companies including Gucci, Prada and Hermès.  Last year’s hunt, however, was delayed in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. 

Countless homes and businesses were destroyed, over a thousand people were killed, and there won’t be any fresh supplies of alligator skins for this season’s expensive designer handbags?  Oh, what a cruel and heartless world we inhabit!

But wait!  There’s a glimmer of hope:

Because tanneries have some skins in stock, shortages may not become apparent for more than a year.

Because nothing will help Louisiana and Mississippi get back to normal like a timely shipment of spring’s finest brand name alligator-skin accessories.

Obviously, the coming shortage has the potential to adversely affect luxury-goods manufacturers.  Still, since this is a fashion magazine and not the Wall Street Journal, we assume Shop is speaking to the people who buy these bags, not the corporations that produce them--which makes their concern over the potential lack of alligator skins appear as misplaced as the “Etc.” in their name.   

We don’t intend to be insensitive. We’re guessing Shop didn’t either.  But that didn’t stop us from thinking that, instead of a new Prada bag, they could use a little perspective.

Some Might Call Them a Necessity

From InStyle’s “Eye Candy,” October:

The right pair [of glasses] can convey intelligence, confidence and fashion savvy. 

Not to mention conveying clear vision.  Wow!  What an indispensable accessory.  Next month:  how to make orthodontic devices an exciting part of your wardrobe!

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