Lowest Common Denominator: Glamour, May

26, 22, 24: Ages of the actresses appearing on Glamour’s multiple May covers (Freida Pinto, Emma Stone, and Ashley Greene, respectively)

39, 40: Ages of Amy Poehler, who’s profiled on page 214, and Tina Fey, whose book is all-too-briefly excerpted on page 72

8: Women in swimsuits depicted on page 32 as the epitome of “total confidence we all envy”

50: Percent of those women who are professional actors or athletes

$45: Price of a dress from Express suggested for its similarity to the D&G dress Stone wore on her cover

$1,395: Price of Stone’s actual cover dress

2: Letters published complaining that size 12-14 model Robyn Lawley, whose photo accompanied March’s “97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today,” was too “perfect”

Zip: Amount of acknowledgement from Glamour about the same readers’ pleas to include all shapes and sizes in their photos (though they did interview Lawley about the readers’ criticism, as if that’s Lawley’s fault)

98: Page on which Glamour recommends a $132 t-shirt screenprinted with a cat’s face 

5: Tricks cited in “What Helps Reese [Witherspoon] Look Like Reese”

0: Mentions of genetics in “What Helps Reese Look Like Reese”

10: Items writer Josh Aiello’s girlfriend carries in her purse, according to “Inside Her Bag: The Final Frontier”

8: Number of times Aiello busts out a girls-are-so-strange stereotype in his commentary. Women carry a lot of stuff! How do they find things in their bags? “I have hands. Do they need cream?” he asks about a tube of L’Occitane lotion. The aneursym-inducing conundrum of differentiating between lip balm and lipstick, he says, “boggles the male mind.” Sheesh.

$20: The “highly affordable” fee for a lap dance, according to “What’s Up with the Stripper Thing?”

None: Despite the claim on the cover and the NSFW tag on the article, actual photos of naked man parts in “The Ultimate Guide to His Man Parts” (There are two models with bare buttocks, but that’s hardly what Glamour’s trying to imply by boasting “with pictures!” on the cover.)

2: Couples who got engaged after the woman cooked “Engagement Chicken,” according to “7 Dishes to Get You Everything You Want in Life”

Thousands: Approximate number of Google users searching for the term “engagement chicken” who've landed on this blog since I first posted about it in 2006. Is my shameless ploy for Google traffic better or worse than believing that a chicken dish can compel a man to propose? You decide!

Comments

[Laryssa]

Your side-note about engagement chicken gave me a good laugh, which was perfect because I was pretty baffled/disgusted by the time I got to the end of the list. Does this mean, as a vegetarian, I'll never get married?!

[Jess C.]

"The aneursym-inducing conundrum of differentiating between lip balm and lipstick, he says, 'boggles the male mind.' Sheesh."

What, he's never lived in a cold climate? He's never gone skiing? He honestly doesn't know what lip balm is for? The thought of someone over the age of 10 being that ignorant is inducing an aneurysm for me. Balm vs. stick doesn't boggle the male mind, just the Josh mind. (Josh, if you're reading this, that means you're a MORON.)

[The Beheld]

I dunno, though...it's a reeeeeal toss-up between Josh Aiello and "Jake," whose column perpetually irritates.

Small clarification, though: More than 70 couples have been engaged from the chicken recipe; they just pictured two. That doesn't make it any less ridiculous, however.

[Mandy]

Engagement chicken? My husband is the one who cooks, not me!

[Torque Wrench]

Engagement chicken, that is something I need to learn, but my fiancee don't eat chicken, do I have another choice,

[Britney Spears 2011]

yeah she looks awesome..

[Farhan]

Engagement chicken, interesting and she looks good..

[Caitlin]

the bra/pink shirt combo is AMAZING