Marie Claire's Marriage Advice for Millionaires

So! Hello. A lot has changed for me since I wrote here last: The most significant thing is that my husband got a new job on the East Coast. In just a few weeks, we’ll be packing up our cat and moving from a spacious two-bedroom in L.A. to a tiny studio in New York. And in preparation for the move, I’ve left my job.

With all these changes imminent, I eagerly flipped open Marie Claire’s April Couples issue. What timing! Surely with the stress of the move, my search for a job in New York, and the drastic reduction in our living space, I could use some level-headed relationship advice.

Unfortunately, Marie Claire should have required income verification for anyone planning to read “The New American Couple.” Not in a top tax bracket? Then this article is not for you.

One of the couples profiled is Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, who works from Atlanta, and her husband, Jesse Itzler, Marquis Jet’s cofounder, based in New York. Here’s how they manage:

Not surprisingly, to make their warp-speed, frequent-flying lifestyle work, they rely on a team of minders: personal assistants, drivers, chefs, a 24-hour nanny on call, and “house managers” who ensure that, at any given time, there’s Diet Coke in the fridge, gas in the tanks, and clean sheets on the bed.

That’s clean sheets on the beds in four different houses, by the way. 

Meanwhile, Michelle Rhee, former D.C. schools chancellor, and Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson faced a challenge I’m sure we can all relate to:

Q: Why did you call off your wedding last September?

Kevin: We wanted to get married in Sacramento—the publicity would have been good for city business—but it quickly became a media circus.

Michelle: The local paper got a hold of our invitation and printed it. There were security issues.

And then there’s Sima Baran and Paul Robertson, whose occupations are rather obnoxiously listed in the article as “sailors on their 41-foot yacht, Leander.”

They’ve been sailing since October 2007 and plan to keep sailing for another year and a half. (That’s five years at sea, for those of you keeping track. FIVE YEARS.) Here’s how these nomads keep romance alive:

On Valentine’s Day 2010, we were in Malaysia, and Paul surprised me with local pancakes from a street vendor and a bouquet. We don’t have the “I’m too tired to fool around after work” dilemma. We have time on our hands, which is fun.

What a revelation! People who don’t work aren’t “too tired to fool around after work”? If only I’d known that my sex life could be improved simply by forgoing a paycheck and employer-sponsored health insurance!

Seriously, Marie Claire, who is this article for? Something like 0.002 percent of the population? (And are those people even reading Marie Claire? I assume they’re reading Millionaire Aircraft, Millionaire Fashion, and Millionaire Jewelry with a stack of sticky flags to mark their future purchases.)

On the plus side, the article contains a refreshingly honest recollection from journalist Lisa Ling and her husband, Dr. Paul Song, about going to marital counseling, and the article also includes Louanne Brickhouse, a Disney production VP, and Ilene Chaiken (The L Word producer), a nice break from the typical default heteronormativity of women's magazines.

Of course, Marie Claire tries to paint the couples in this article as the new American norm. And in some ways, this is good: interracial couples, non-hetero couples, women running companies? Yes! More of this in magazines, please!

But in portraying these wealthy couples as typical, the article fails to acknowledge that their solutions—hiring household staff, quitting their jobs to travel, even putting off a wedding due to press interference (guess neither needed to get married for health insurance!)—come not from great relationship skill, but from money and privilege. And that has the unfortunate effect of making the advice on these pages as out-of-reach as the designer clothes on the rest of them.

Comments

[EvilSlutClique]

We were so glad to see this blog pop up in our RSS reader again, and extra glad that you're moving to New York! Remember, much like Marie Claire's extremely realistic portrayal of couples, your life will magically morph into Sex and the City as soon as you get to NYC. We look forward to buying you a Cosmo. (The drink, not the magazine. Although you're one of the few people who would actually understand that we buy the magazine too and tell people 'this is just for our blog, we swear'.)

[Laryssa]

Always happy to see a new post from you! And welcome to the East Coast. :)

[Belinda Gomez]

The only thing I can say in MC's defense is that people know only too well how the ordinary family lives. Sad but true--why do I need to read about clipping coupons and stocking up on powdered milk?

But thrilled to read you again and hope you love NYC.

[Glossed Over]

Thanks, everyone!

ESC, I would love to meet up for a drink, Cosmo or not. Though Cosmo (the magazine) and alcohol does sound like a promising combination...

Belinda, I totally hear what you're saying about the average family. There's so little in the glossies that acknowledges anyone with an average income--why should this be different? I think I just wanted a different perspective because in the last few year of recession, there have been so many articles about money being a major source of conflict in relationships.

[Morgan]

I must be really out of touch these days. I'm not even familiar with Marie Claire! However, it does sound as if MC is jam-packed with useful information for the average family. I was lucky to have stumbled across this website. Now I just need to track down the nearest newsstand and pick up the latest issue!

[Jessica M.]

Very glad you're posting again, and welcome to the East Coast...

"local pancakes" just strikes me as an odd phrase. There's my input! You make a good point with how the article defines these relationships...we're not, apparently, reading for the dream romance, but expected to take some kind of practical advice from these examples? That is the key point that you hone in on.

[bosch multi tool]

I don't have much time this days to read magazines but it seems like Marie Claire is good value to read. I will buy the next few issues.