Allure's Rhyming, Sexist Ode to the Women of Fox News

Dear Allure:

Just because David DeNicolo wrote a rhyming ode to the women of Fox News doesn’t mean you had to publish it. Was there a point to this other than blatantly objectifying and belittling the network’s female on-air talent?

The slideshow (apparently not at all ironically called "Fox News Anchors: Hot or Not?") is introduced with a lengthy verse that includes this reminder of what’s really important in television news:

Sure, Rachel Maddow has the smarts

But can she work her giggly parts?

Wait, let me point out even more flagrant objectification before I lose consciousness in a rage blackout. This is about Martha MacCallum:

The TV lights catch every facet;
Golden domes are quite an asset.

And this couplet manages to both infantilize and leer at Jamie Colby, and top it off with a creepy reference to incest. Quel accomplishment!

The dress so short, the smile so glad—
Is that her cohost or her dad?

Oh, hey, did you know all you have to do to be a woman on Fox News is sit on a couch?

Further rightward daily lurching,

On a sofa deftly perching.

I’d normally be the first one to decry the journalistic standards at Fox News, but I'm quite certain being a TV anchor involves at least slightly more intelligence, talent, and effort than “deftly perching” on upholstery.

This could have been an interesting launching point to explore the double standards in television news. (No, that jab at Rachel Maddow doesn’t count.) It could have been a beauty article about makeup techniques or fashion styling for television, which would be well within Allure's purview. It might have even included men!

Instead, it's just blindingly sexist, ill-conceived, and unfunny, which is strange, considering a publication targeted toward women would theoretically want to avoid disparaging them. But times are tight in print media, so I guess Allure is trying to expand its appeal—to chauvinists and jerks. I hear they buy a lot of magazines.

No love,

Glossed Over

Thanks to reader Annie for the tip. As she said in her email, "Oh hell naw."

Comments

[Krazy Kitty]

So what he's telling us is that the reason people watch Fox News is because the anchor women are blond and pretty instead of being smart and... dark and short haired? lesbian? I'm trying to figure out what could be physically wrong with Rachel Maddow but I actually find her beautiful.

And here I was being afraid people liked the political message they sell.

Now please excuse me while I go deftly perch on some furniture. I was working my ass off trying to do some science but I see I was misunderstanding where my potential lies.

[Voxy]

I blame Sarah Palin.

No, I'm serious. Not the fact that someone wrote rhyming jabs about Fox News anchors, but the fact that Allure published it.

[Vanessa]

Oy. That's all I have to say.

[Arushi Khosla]

Fuck em'. That's all I gotta say.

[Hmmm]

Yeah ... I'm no fan of Fox News, but I was rather shocked this was in Allure, and it takes a lot to shock me! I read Allure for makeup and beauty tips, not political commentary. And I'm right in the middle, but I imagine a good portion of their readership is to the right of that mark. Why offend for this silly bit?

[ssteele]

Why did the author of this piece of trash conveniently forget about the African-American Fox anchors, such as Lauren Green, Harris Faulkner and Arthel Neville?
This is a blatant, biased, agenda-driven article, and if Allure continues to publish articles like this, I won't be buying this mag any longer