Lucky Thinks You Have the Body of a Model

The cover of Lucky’s August issue claims it features “The Best Jeans for Your Body—Ever!”

Unfortunately, it looks like the footnote to that coverline was omitted in what was surely a grievous copyediting error. After perusing the fashion spread in question, I’m certain that cover line should have read:

The Best Jeans for Your Body—Ever*

*if you are 5’11” and weigh 125 pounds

See, unlike most features that bill themselves as suggesting clothes “for your body” and therefore present at least a token range of body types, Lucky depicts only a slender model, head and torso cropped out of the frame, wearing the featured jeans. Ah, yes, it's the time-honored fashion magazine tradition of publishing cover lines that bear no resemblance to the article! 

So if you are very tall and your thighs don’t touch, you’re in luck! Not under contract with Ford Models? Lucky does not acknowledge your existence. Or your need for well-fitting pants. 

To be fair, the feature does include plenty of advice about how jeans should fit for optimum flattery. But is there a pair of snug pink straight-legs on earth that would look good on anyone but a model? (That's an actual example from page 115.)

While “The Lucky Guide to Denim” lacks body-type diversity, it does feature a range of denim trends. Some highlights:

Studded: Lucky calls these “unapologetically punky” and “a bit dangerous”—and nothing says punky and dangerous like $460 Just Cavalli denim!

Shredded: Ooh, jeans that are “all-out destroyed” are “rebellious.” What exactly are bleached and slashed jeans rebelling against? Pants that are, like, intact?

Dark, clean skinny: Says Lucky, these are the “ultimate day-to-night jean.” And they certainly are, if you work at a fashion magazine and jeans constitute appropriate office attire.

At the end of the guide, there's a promotion for an online video offering “tips on how to look great in jeans.” But why bother watching it? According to this feature, looking fantastic is simple. Just be genetically blessed and let the pants do the rest!

Comments

[Sarah]

I am SO glad to see you posting again. I really missed reading your updates!! Thanks...

[Parsing Nonsense]

What is the point of reading those articles if you don't spend every morning swimming laps in your pool of excess cash? What good is shopping advice that recommends products most people will never, ever be able to afford?

I'm so glad the editors like the Cavalli jeans, but I honestly don't care. I'm unlikely to take any of their advice to heart because they're so obviously out of touch with reality.

[Mel]

Hi. First time commenter. I love your blog and I'm so glad you've been making some new posts.

...The thing that completely blows my mind is that, yes, they are a fashion magazine, and yes, it is tradition to use the typical model body for every fashion spread - but how hard could it be to find people with the body shapes described in the article? I would take fashion mags' denim advice much more seriously if they showed someone with a tummy in jeans that flatten a tummy.

This is a special irk for me, because I'm not a frequent reader of the glossies (we all know you can read one Cosmo a year and know what's in the rest of them.) but the few I've picked up for long plane rides, or to read at the gym when I forgot my book have ALL been the "jeans for your body" edition in different publications and this particular business with the jean models has definitely gotten on my nerves.

You're awesome Wendy, keep it up!

[Bryony]

I'm so glad to see new posts here! I'd given up hope of seeing anything new, and I'm glad I was wrong.

[Veronica]

"At the end of the guide, there's a promotion for an online video offering 'tips on how to look great in jeans.'"

I haven't seen the video but why do I have the nagging feeling that Tip #1 is "lose weight"? Sigh.

[Luey]

Yay, new posts! I love your blog!

[laylaness]

Sigh. I don't know what's worse - the denim guide or the Hayden Pannntierrrereerererer feature.

At least Kim France isn't writing the Editor's Letter about herself anymore.