Cosmopolitan Doesn’t Want You to Die Alone

Most of the women I know who read Cosmopolitan say that it’s escapist entertainment—just a trifle to take their minds off everyday worries. I find that confounding, because not a month passes without a multi-page feature about how a young woman was murdered/raped/abducted/afflicted with an incurable disease—and how it could happen to anyone. Even you. Especially you!

The May issue fulfills this requirement with “Read This Before You Live Alone,” which begins soberly:

Life without roommates—for many young women, it’s near the top of their wish list. But living solo also can up your risk of break-ins and assaults.

Well, that seems perfectly reasonable. Safety is a major concern for most women, and we’ve been told our entire lives that being alone makes us more vulnerable.

But is that actually the case? Who knows? Although there are plenty of statistics about crimes against women in their homes included here, there isn’t a shred of evidence in the article that confirms women living alone are more likely to be victims.

And of the four victims mentioned, only one, TV anchor Anne Presley, is specifically described as having her own place.

…[Presley’s murder] implied a danger that confronts everyone—not just a semipublic figure—and perhaps single women living alone most of all. Rather than sharing an apartment with roommates, Anne was enjoying a life most women in their mid-20s lust after: She was rising in her career and successful enough to afford privacy.

What’s the implication here, Cosmo? That a woman must choose between financial success and personal security? There’s even an entire paragraph devoted to explanations that Presley lived in one of the “most affluent” neighborhoods in Little Rock, “not far from the Little Rock Country Club,” and surrounded by “wealthy neighbors.” Good luck, then, if you live in one of those “divey place[s] in a borderline neighborhood”!

Convinced to have roommates forever? Take a look at the next page:

5 Things Not to Put Off Until You’re In a Relationship

1.    Buying a home

Oh, so paying the mortgage alone doesn’t qualify you to live alone. Excellent.

Well, then, what is safe to do alone? In “50 Things to Do Naked,” the magazine suggests such life-affirming activities as watching Arrested Development on DVD, applying a deep-conditioning treatment, or arranging flowers while solo (and nude). Really.

In the event that moving some roses around in a vase doesn’t assuage your concerns, “Read This” does conclude with a helpful admonition:

One last thing: Don’t drive yourself crazy.

And that, at least, is easily accomplished. Step one: stop reading Cosmo.

Comments

[Rio]

"The Sexy Issue." Does that really require a comment?

[Rose]

I love Glossed Over. I missed you desperately when you took a break over Dec/Jan. And I think arranging roses in the nude sounds dangerous - thorns, ya know.

[Debra Snider]

This brand of casual, gratuitous & inane sexism just drives me crazy. I suppose people who take Cosmo seriously do so at their own risk, but it would certainly be possible to handle an article on safety for women without implying that women who choose not to mate up or travel in packs are somehow responsible for upping their own risk. The jab at a financially independent woman is also telling of a disgusting, but all too common, media agenda to demean women's earning power or to characterize it as somehow unwomanly.

I'm reminded of what Golda Meir is reputed to have said in response to a suggestion to curfew women as a safety measure after an upsurge in the incidence of rapes. Women? she exclaimed. They're not the ones perpetrating rape. If we're going to impose a curfew, it will be on men. Sounds as if Cosmo's twisted logic is as backward as the "let's curfew women" idea.

Great post, as always - funny, thoughtful & thought-provoking.

[Molly]

Oh man. 'The Sexy Issue'. Here's hoping it's more enjoyable than April's 'The Frumpy Issue'.

[Lindsey]

I swear I've developed a whole new lease on life since I started arranging flowers in the buff. Thank you, Cosmopolitan!

[Organic Cosmetics]

I get hold of a copy of Cosmopolitan mainly when I am traveling. It helps me spend my time. However I find them quite okay.

[air jordan]

Just dropping by to say Hi!
Great site!
We love reading the updates of our favorite

[GamerGrrlz]

Well, to be fair, watching Arrested Development should just be done by all, period. As wacky and detached as the show is, you could certainly learn more about life, love, and sex from it than you could an entire lifetime's worth of Cosmopolitans.

Love the itemization of the things you should do in the nude, but the oversimplification of "don't drive yourself crazy". Oh boy, thanks for the tip! I'll get right on that!