Eva Longoria Dyes Her Hair at Home and Other L’Oréal Lies

The award for the most moronic advertisement in recent memory goes to the spread for Excellence To-Go hair color by L’Oréal Paris, as seen in the current issue of InStyle and on display in drugstores everywhere. What, you ask, could be so terrible about an ad for hair dye—other than, you know, furthering this ludicrous notion that we women are supposed to coat our scalps in a potentially toxic substance every few weeks so as not to offend anyone with a gray hair or two?
 

    

Well, for starters, there’s this manufactured quote from Eva Longoria:

Today, everything moves so fast, my haircolor has to be perfect. And it has to keep up.

This is going to torture me. No exaggeration: I may lie awake tonight wondering how hair dye is supposed to “keep up.” How can haircolor do anything other than smell wretched and stain my forehead? With what or with whom is it expected to keep up? And how offensive is it to pretend that Eva Longoria doesn’t have a personal hairstylist touching up her roots every six minutes?

Then there’s the “so fast” part of the statement. Yes, the world moves so insanely fast, MY HAIRCOLOR MUST ADAPT INSTANTLY. What? This is a product that is supposed to have a permanent effect. It does not change. There is nothing fast about hair dye except the speed with which it stains the paint on the
bathroom wall.

The adjoining page gets even worse, somehow:

Rich color in 10 MINUTES. Hair that feels STRONGER. For me, that’s a NEW REVOLUTION!

For me, this constitutes a compelling reason to NITPICK! And to RANT!

The nitpick: revolutions are by their very nature new. And the rant: co-opting the language of revolution to sell the very products whose necessity feminism rejects is absolutely noxious. I’ll take my revolutions in the form of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, thank you, not in hair color that shaves a whopping 5 minutes from competing brands’ processing time and is marketed to me as if coloring my hair every six weeks since age 18 has actually slaughtered 75 percent of my brain cells. (Never mind the possibility that, well, it has.)

Finally, there’s L’Oréal’s trademark:

Because you’re worth it.

Actually, L’Oréal, we’re worth more than that. If only your advertising reflected as much.

Comments

[Jess]

Fantastic entry!

[Molly]

Great post! I never thought about the fact that sheesh, OF COURSE those celebrities who hawk haircolor don't color their hair at home, and it's so ridiculous that they imply that they do. I can't believe that never occured to me. I heart this blog.

[Lainie (Fitness Fig)]

I have to admit I get my haircolor from a box. I roll my eyes at the ads, though. If you do your own hair as often as I do, you know there ain't no way celebs are getting their pretty little hands dirty like that (o.k. so I wear gloves but it's still a dirty process).

So glad to see some new posts here!

[Heather Oldham]

Keep up the great posts! I used to dye my hair and said to hell with it. ever notice how the pics of celebrities from their high school yearbooks make them look so cute and approachable? that's because they were *real* and couldn't afford the makeup artist yet.

[Sharn]

Why has no one mentioned that L'Oreal is notorious for featuring models wearing wigs in their hair product ads, or that this particular ad features one of the tackiest, fakest, wiggiest wigs in the history of wigdom?

[KateC]

This ad doesn't offend me as much as those ad with Kelly Ripa doing her own laundry. As if. OR with her eating pasta. When was the last time she ate?

[Pam]

Yeah! all great points!
Regarding the wig. Eva cut her hair to her chin. Notice how that new style doesn't work for L'oreal, so they must put her in a wig! The ad is clearly fraud on so many levels!

[Cute Easy Hairstyles]

Thanks for pointing out the false advertising!! The false images on products are so strong that it is hard for us to choose safe and price-worthy products. I never believed those celebrities really dye their hair with those boxed haircolors!!

[mimi]

wow! u really took the fact that Eva has great hair to heart. What is this, some place where women with mousy hair come to commiserate?!

is it impossible to believe that a wig could be dyed?? HELLO? They dont come in that color!!

And is it impossible to believe that Eva's stylist used a L'oreal dye on her hair? just because it comes in a box doesnt mean u did it at home!

u are one bored and probably majorly boring-looking lady to get so offended by a beautiful lady making tons of money endorsing a product that u have NO CLUE if she actually uses or not!

[natural.peace]

geez synical much? it's an advert which means she gets paid to advertise do u think if u say "o put this poisen on ur skull" will sell,if you just sed yes your stupid, it's just hair dye so dnt go baggin on loreal for trying to do their jobs,same goes for eva longoria!!!!(evas awsum)