Lowest Common Denominator: Glamour, December

$1,712: Value of the gift bag from Glamour’s Women of the Year gala

68.75: Percent of honorees cited at least in part for their work improving the lives of women in poverty or oppressive situations

16: Women honored by Glamour for, in the words of editor-in-chief Cynthia Leive, “inspiring” other women

3: Celebrity hairstyles noted on page 86 as “Part Makeovers to Inspire You” (that’s “part” as in the part in your hair)

Null: Likelihood I would ever publicly admit to being “inspired” by the direction Gwyneth Paltrow combs her hair

10: Number of strategies suggested to “Make Over Your Body, Head to Toe,” including three for the face

2: Uses of the word “bling” on page 116

$895: Average price of the bling-encrusted bags on the same page

Boundless: My astonishment that anyone would spend $2,295 on a Valentino purse studded with hot-glued faux jewels

3: Body types represented in “The Sexiest Dress for Your Shape”

3: Number of “fun ways” to wear a scarf recommended on the next page

239: Page on which a Glamour staffer claims to have seen the term “sophisticated elf” as the dress code on an invitation

5: According to page 163, the count of “Fights Every Couple is Having Right Now”

100: Approximate percentage of those five conflicts that have been the basis for an episode of a network sitcom starring an average-looking former standup comedian and a gorgeous actress as his wife

9: “Sweet ways guys show their affection” in “100 Little Things that Renew Your Faith in Love”

1: Of those 9, the number which involve a man sleeping outside his girlfriend’s house without her knowledge. Sweet, eh?

4: Pages devoted to “I Don’t Care About Being a Size 2,” a beauty story featuring singer Adele

1: Total of photos of Adele where her body is actually visible below the neck

Comments

[Elle]

A dude sleeping outside my house without my knowledge would restore my faith in stalking, not love. Creepy.

[gwendolyn]

I love these lowest common denominator entries. All that WTF-dom boiled down into one neat package.

[Athena]

3: Body types represented in “The Sexiest Dress for Your Shape”

Were those three body types short skinny, average height skinny, and tall skinny?

[Wink]

I was wondering about the body types too. I mean what is a girl supposed to do if she's ample all over? Or petite AND bigger on the bottom?

[Kathy]

I actually read this issue of Glamour and found the Women of the Year piece to be very inspiring. Kudos to Glamour for putting these amazing and hard working women in the spotlight. Also, you didn't mention the list of charitable holiday gift ideas. In my opinion it makes up for the overpriced hand bags.

[denise]

Was disappointed about the Adele pictures included with the article. Beautiful, as always, but it seems a little odd that the article dealing with body image would have such little print space designated for her actual body.

[ania]

What a creative way to breakdown this down.

Thanks.

[ania]

Or,

"What a creative way to break this down."

Thank you.

[jenB]

Hey! I just found you via Susan Wagner over at Blogher.com and I am smitten! Love your blog!

New Fan,

jenB