W Goes Undercover to Reveal America's Oft-Maligned Elite

Maybe you’ve heard, but the United States is in the midst of a presidential race! Every 24-hour cable news network has switched to continuous coverage of the speechifying, much of which consists of finger-pointing at a nebulous category of Americans known to politicians as the “elite.” So, who are these mysterious elite? Are they an Illuminati-like organization who are the true maleficent puppeteers behind the unholy open-toed boot? Are they the tremendously wealthy people who dwell in compounds instead of houses (or, ahem, seven houses)?

No! In fact, they’re people who were interviewed for the September issue of W. Maybe the cover line “What Recession?” is tongue-in-cheek, but you wouldn’t know it from reading the articles inside. The whole issue is redolent with the kind of boorish entitlement and unfounded superiority that is, well, the magazine’s trademark, really.

Join me as we scrutinize the elite in their natural habitat!

Our tour begins with “Comme and Go.” In the article, designer Rei Kawakubo of Comme des Garcons evaluates her partnership with H&M, using the time-honored technique of condescending to her potential customers.

“I think [stores like H&M] have their rightful place in the world. Not everyone necessarily needs new things all the time and creative designs.”

Right, people who shop at H&M should be stuck with a sparse wardrobe of unimaginative clothing that can only be replaced once a year. To be fair, here’s the almost-redeeming remainder of her quote:

“It’s good to have luxury restaurants and fast-food restaurants. You need both.”

Next, we meet Margaret Dickerson, whose skincare line derived from Budapest’s mud baths is profiled in “Water Works.”

…She was more amazed by how smooth and soft her skin looked and felt after a dip. She began noticing a similar afterglow on people all over town. “I don’t want to be a reductionist and say even cleaning ladies have great skin,” she says. “But everyone does.”

Well, I never! The audacity of a working-class woman looking as good as a wealthy woman!

Our next stop here in the mysterious world occupied by the elite is “Out of the Picture.” Outgoing Museum of Modern Art director Phillip de Montebello explains his philosophy.

To his mind, the very act of stepping inside a museum makes one an elitist because it represents a choice to become educated. When he was addressing a group of summer interns a few years ago, one asked what the museum was doing to combat elitism. He recalls responding: “Where are your friends? They’re hanging around outside the drugstore in your neighborhood, wherever that is. You chose in to come indoors in the summer and learn about great works of art. That makes you an elitist. You have come to better yourself. That is what elitism is. Do I have to apologize for that?”

Apologize? For bettering yourself, no. For shamelessly berating an intern who seemed to be genuinely invested in the concept of using art to reach new audiences, definitely.

Continuing with our journey through the halls of modern American elitism, there’s this charming tale from “Euro Stars”:

Meanwhile in Paris, Becca Cason Thrash threw her American Friends of the Louvre benefit at the French museum, where she reckoned there were “zillions of billions of dollars” roaming through the halls. “Please, you’re so rich,” she entreated, auctioning off luxurious vacations to such bidders as Bianca Jagger, Maryvonne Pinault and Dasha Zhukova.

Zillions of billions of dollars! Why do governmental types so hate the elite when they’re clearly the solution to America’s rising deficit? Fortunately for all of us, W decided to dedicate this issue to participating in the national dialogue. Next month: the magazine’s plan to save Social Security!

Comments

[Becca]

That H&M comment is so weird. So Kawakubo wanted to design for a store that people rarely shop at and doesn't have creative designs? Is that what she's saying? Because that doesn't even make sense.

[Kelly]

Well of course working-class women aren't allowed to be as pretty as wealthy women. That would completely devalue all those hours the wealthy women spend at the spa and the salon! I mean, *natural* beauty? What the hell is that?

[Phyaflyjones]

I love when people preface thier BS with disclaimers. I makes me giggle.

[Jocelyn]

Becca: ITA, I did a double take when I read that. If she has a partnership with a store that she thinks doesn't have creative design, hasn't she just insulted herself? Durrr. Not to mention that it just doesn't make any sense, as H&M is fairly aggressively trendy. The only other mass-market store doing designer spotlights like that with similarly obscure industry names is Target. The whole idea behind H&M's prices is for us peons to be able to afford more new clothes, but trendy, creative clothes. Good design for the masses.

[EvilSlutClique]

“I think [stores like H&M] have their rightful place in the world. Not everyone necessarily needs new things all the time and creative designs.”

Sounds kinda like Jordin Sparks's recent comments that if you don't wear a purity ring, you're not "necessarily" a slut. Same spirit.