Lowest Common Denominator: Elle, September

600+: Number of pages in the September issue, according to the cover

636: Actual number of pages in this issue

1.75: Number of hips Jessica Simpson has, also according to the cover

4: Contestants from the upcoming Stylista featured in a co-branded H&M ad (Best quote from one of the contestants: “You can look good in anything as long as you have a smile on your face and you haven’t bad too many Double Doubles.” Thanks for that insight.)

3: Length, in minutes, of a Stylista preview promoted in Robbie Meyers’ “Editor’s Letter”

239,402: Based on the promotional brigade thus far, the approximate number of further Stylista mentions I’m expecting in this issue

2: Ugly Betty characters who receive Joe Zee makeovers in “Style A to Zee”

100%: My expectation that this issue will also contain numerous mentions of Just Shoot Me, since Elle seems bent on cornering the fashion-mag-as-TV-show market

1: Reference to The Lost Boys as the inspiration for gothic fashion, in “Wicked Ways”

$3,840: Price of the “bag of the season,” a snakeskin Fendi, as listed on page 310

0: Percent of people who are not fashion editors who think $3,840 is a reasonable price for a bag for “the season”

Boundless: My incredulity that “short trousers” are in for fall, as shown in “Fall’s Must-Haves.” Can anyone who isn’t a 6-foot-tall model wear these? Would anyone even want to?

90210: Zip code-turned-title of the show Elle deems “DVR-worthy” in “Elle 25” (Okay, okay, I’m looking forward to it, too. Donna Martin graduates!)

428: Page on which Stylista is mentioned AGAIN. This time, an editorial assistant interviews Joe Zee and Anne Slowey, apparently because they so rarely get a chance to express themselves in the pages of Elle

2.333: Pages assigned to “Killer Stiller,” a profile of—you guessed it—Ben Stiller

7: Pages devoted to political coverage

19: Pages of beauty coverage

13: Age difference, in years, between writer Philip Nobel and the girlfriend whom he left his wife to be with, in “Danger Man”

Monthly: Estimated frequency with which at least one of the women’s mags runs a similar story about a man who left his wife in pursuit of a younger woman

40: Age of model Stephanie Seymour, who appears in fashion spread “Forever in Blue Jeans” (and looks amazing, for the record)

23, 20, and 19: Ages of Ashley Tisdale, Zac Efron, and Vanessa Hudgens, respectively, who appear in “High School Confidential”

Comments

[Katie B]

'13: Age difference, in years, between writer Philip Nobel and the girlfriend whom he left his wife to be with, in “Danger Man”'

So you think it's the age difference rather than the difference in experience & maturity? My husband & I have the same age difference, & he treats me nothing like that. I'm 27. Big fucking deal! He also likes this blog. Fuck, what a narrow thing to write about. Do you think younger women aren't mentally prepared for older men or something?

That asshat def. fucked with that woman, but she dated someone married. Even when I was 18 I knew better.

[Glossed Over]

Katie: I was merely pointing out the age difference in this particular story and the frequency with which we hear about these kinds of romances in women's mags. I was not indicating that 13 years is an inappropriate age gap in a relationship. Obviously, that's not my decision to make for anybody.

[library monkey]

I like this
like a harper's list

800,000 number of young (age 18-22) women who read this magazine

[Clare]

"1.75: number of hips Jessica Simpson has on the cover" haha - great line!

[Kat]

Agreed with Clare, I hoped you/someone might mention this. I thought only Olympic swimmers had shoulders that much broader than their midsection...

[Courtney]

When I see a magazine promoting the number of pages the current issue contains, I have to wonder how many of those pages are actually editorial content and how much are ads. Reading 500 pages of ads really doesn't wow me.

[laylaness]

Jessica Simpson's on the cover? Huh. All I see is text.

Ohhhhh... there she is. In a $600 plaid flannel shirt. Because she's country now.

[Adam]

In response to Courtney: Magazines typically have anywhere from 95-130 editorial pages every month. That's a constant. So when they promote more than this number, expect the rest of the page count to be ads, ads, ads.

[Andrea]

Dear Kate: you are a twit. Anyone who can extrapolate judgemental comments from something as pithy as what Glossed Over has written has some very serious insecurity about age difference. I'm dating a man who is 14 years my senior and felt no twinge of disrespect from this blog on this issue. AT ALL.

Dear Glossed Over: You rock. Please keep up the snark.

[Glossed Over]

Thanks, Andrea.

[Mary-Kate]

This is a cool blog! Snake-skin though yuck! AGAIN I got over it in high school! Double-doubles will totally make you feel a size too big! I think it's funny that girl is the only one who doesn't write something serious and boring. Jessica gone country and dating a cowboy--totally appropriate for plaid! Well Maybe. Kate- don't worry that you are a young woman dating an old dude it's totally cool just don't get mad at Glossed Over because it is true magazines write about stories like that all the time kind of like lipgloss and cellulite busters ;)