Working Girl Wednesdays: "The Biggest and Best Reason to Stop a Midday Affair"
Welcome to Working Girl Wednesdays! Need advice on handling the complexities of the modern workplace? Well, fret no more! Whether it’s a senior partner making a move or a catty co-worker plotting for your plum position, Helen Gurley Brown’s 1964 book Sex and the Office has a solution. Every Wednesday on Glossed Over, I’ll present a new tip from the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan. Is her advice utterly ridiculous or startlingly prescient? You decide!
This, I swear, is the final chapter about lunch, except it’s not really about lunch. It’s about using your midday break to have illicit relations! Here is HGB’s advice on how to have time for a noontime romp and still grab a sandwich:
Possibly you have a job which allows you only an hour for lunch. This schedule makes THE MATINEE pretty difficult unless you live next door to the office. You might, if you have a nice boss and resort to this ruse infrequently enough, develop a chronic intestinal ailment and have to visit your doctor. Generally, bosses can be pretty nice about doctor’s appointments.
HGB explains that “matinees” are best for sleeping with men who are married and thus can’t be seen with you in public. Charming! Of course, these kinds of indiscretions can’t go on forever.
The biggest and best reason to stop a midday affair is to keep yourself or your friend from suffering. As soon as you find yourself thinking about him when you’re not with him—or dreaming about the state of being Mrs. Matinee instead of his luncheon pal—you’d probably better admit your Matinee is turning into the Big Affair. Run for the train! You can be honest. You won’t need to trump up any other excuse than that you’re falling. He’s a fair guy, and he’ll understand.
Aw, how sweet of a guy to understand why you no longer want to entertain him on your lunch hour.
Next week, HGB explains “what else you can do on a coffee break.” Three guesses.
Oh, do say, are coffee break another opportunity for being slutty? I'm dying to know.
Posted by: Citronella | July 23, 2008 at 07:56 AM
It's funny the way HGB makes it seem as though an hour is too short an amount of time for a lunch break. People do have to work, HGB.
Posted by: Athena | July 23, 2008 at 09:37 AM
PLEASE never quit doing these posts! i look forward to them all week! and i really use all the helpful tips and tricks around my workplace. that's the point...right...?
Posted by: lindsay | July 23, 2008 at 06:28 PM