Elle Redefines Street Harassment

In the August issue of Elle, the magazine’s creative director, Joe Zee, decides it’s time men had a forum to air their perspectives on women’s appearances. As one of the few guys on staff at a women’s magazine, civilians are always asking him what he thinks about their outfits.

Whenever I meet people at nonindustry social gatherings, they’re naturally inquisitive about my job and often wind up asking me, “So what do you think of what I’m wearing now?” I’m like that lone doctor trapped at a cocktail party doling out advice for nonexistent ailments.

Zee is the only man who makes a living in women’s fashion, so he’s determined to share his wisdom with the masses. The best way to do this? By accosting random pedestrians on the street! You know, the street. The place where men never offer unsolicited opinions about the way women look?

Yeah, this plan was obviously hatched by a man.

The creative director set up shop on New York’s Wall Street—which, according to him, is “man’s territory.” Of course!

Considering this feature is a fairly blatant ripoff of Glamour’s “Dos and Don’ts” (although these women are posing, and so are at least aware they were being photographed), Zee had to set himself apart somehow. His solution? Green x’s across their faces. Oh, and he’s even worse to his targets than Glamour is.

To a woman in shorts, he writes:

Working girl? You bet, if your profession is the oldest one in the world.

Here’s his take on a woman in a pink trench coat:

Elle Woods may have gotten office cred for her ensembles, but this it’s-my-first-day-at-work-in-a-funky-office Barbie look is a real clunker.

Um, didn’t he watch Legally Blonde all the way through and catch the elegant non-pink outfits Elle wore to work in that cad Callahan’s office? At least this victim can take solace in the fact that Zee referred to another woman as a

bargain-bin Carrie Bradshaw who got dressed in the dark

and compared a third to Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl.

Perhaps worst of all, he says this about a woman in a suit and (okay, okay) truly hideous heeled clogs:

At work, I want to take you seriously, not dance with you.

Ah, so it’s her fault you don’t take her seriously. Thanks for filling us in that wardrobe determines our worth in the workplace!

Sure, Zee is trying to be helpfu with his advice, but if I encountered a guy on the street who wanted to appraise my clothes, I’d be terrified. Next time I hear a whistle or a catcall, I might just consider myself lucky if it isn’t accompanied by a zinger about my outfit.

Comments

[Athena]

It's cute that he tries so hard to be witty.

[Erica]

I am tired of flagrant insults hurled at people and being packaged and sold as entertainment. Are we that hard up for insightful, witty writing that we are settling for disgusting venom?

[laylaness]

We already have Stacy and Clinton. We don't need this second-rate Michael Kors.

Oh, and also? Every month, I think Elle could not possible fit any more words on their cover. And every month, they prove me wrong.