Lowest Common Denominator: Vogue, June

7: Days I was in possession of this issue before I realized Sarah Jessica Parker is sitting between a man’s legs on the cover

1.333: Pages devoted to France’s first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy

6.333: Pages covering Cindy McCain, wife of U.S. presidential nominee Senator John McCain

20: Number of names appearing in boldface in André Leon Talley’s column, “Life with André”

1: Ostensibly non-satirical song by Ashanti, called “Diva,” that name-drops André Leon Talley (Sample lyrics, as quoted by the man himself: “Give them runway, now bring it!...Let me see that layout…Don’t come for me, I’ll come for you.”)

Zero: Chance I’ll be wearing the drop-crotch pants featured in “Drop Everything” by Sarah Mower

348,320: Estimated number of mentions of designer Philip Lim in this issue. I get it, already!

$1,242: Total cost of an ensemble labeled the “bare minimum” for writer Jane Herman’s trip to Tulum (That’s a $362 Alexander Wang top, $385 shorts by Yigal Azrouel, and $495 Bally heels.)

€250: Price of the “bare essentials” Beauty Director Sarah Brown purchased on arrival in Italy in lieu of carry ing her necessities on the plane

3: Occurrences of the unctuous term “Vogue-ette,” as used by writer Plum Sykes in “Rebel Romance,” which chronicles the unholy melding of the Sex and the City movie’s fake version of Vogue and real-life Vogue

3: Nonfictional Vogue staffers apparently appearing in the film (Talley, West Coast Fashion Editor Lawren Howell, and Sykes)

4: Locales depicted in this month’s fashion spreads—New York, San Francisco, Mali, and Patagonia

31: Age difference, in years, between Pierce Brosnan and model Daria Werbowy, who both appear in “San Francisco Chronicles”

18: Age difference, in years, between profile subject Cindy McCain and her husband

1: Evidently unselfconscious reference to Gilligan’s Island, by Sally Singer in “From Here to Timbuktu...” (Quote: “It’s hard to imagine a more chic and gloriously Mrs. Thurston Howell III-like rebuff to e-mail messages than ‘Talk soon. In Timbuktu.’ This is precisely what I’m doing…”)

18: Photos of Sarah Jessica Parker in this issue, including the cover, the table of contents, Anna Wintour’s “Letter from the Editor,” a Garnier ad, “Rebel Romance,” and “Marry, Marry, Quite Contrary”

Comments

[sara]

Dear Glossed Over,

I missed you.
Thanks for being so hilarious.

Also: can someone kill Plum or explain nicely to her that she has no cultural relevance?

[Jetsetter]

I think Plum writes enjoyable books for easy reading.

[Athena]

I don't understand why they had her pose in between a man's legs. I noticed that as soon as I saw the cover and then wondered why the mysterious man is cut off from the waist up and why SJP seems to have her head resting on his crotch. It doesn't add anything to the cover other than looking ridiculous. You'd think Vogue staffers would be able to come up with a more interesting and creative cover.

[vanessa]

The legs really make NO sense to me either. It isn't scandalous, and SJP isn't scandalous anyway, its just... lackluster

[sss]

This issue of Vogue was ridiculous from cover to cover...esp. "From here to Timbuktu". The combined cost of Liya Kebede's ensembles in the issue equals roughly $20,756.00 while the ave. annual income of someone living in Timbuktu is around $230.00. I mean the Chloe tunic on the last page of the layout at 3,924 .00 = the yearly salary of 17 people. I think the disparity is totally offensive.

[Glossed Over]

sss: So true, and so appalling. Did you catch Sally Singer's mention of the Vogue crew travelling on a budget in a caravan of private cars? That, paired with the picture of the Malian family traveling by donkey, was completely ridiculous.

[moira]

Whoa, I've seen this cover probably hundreds of times and this is the first time I noticed that she's between some guy's legs? Weird- and pointless. Why the open-mouth stare, is that really the best shot they got?

[Brigitte]

I don't understand all the Lim love in fashion magazines. He must have one hell of a publicist.