Vogue: The Best Way to Spend A Lot of Money on A Little Fabric

More than once, we’ve been accused of rampant, ceaseless cynicism.  And with good reason, too!  But now that the holiday season is upon us, and the sounds of joyous carols and demanding children are wafting through the chilly air, we decided to turn over a new leaf.  We are perfectly capable of seeing the good in everyone…if we really, really try.

So we decided to trot out our new viewpoint on a visit to the newsstand.  We smiled genuinely at the strange guy chatting with the cashier about a lady he squired around the city this weekend.  His revelations were a wee bit indelicate, but we’re sure he’s truly a gentleman.  In fact, he wouldn’t even let his special friend stay overnight, since he knew her cat would be worried if she didn’t return home before daybreak.  What a prince!

Anyway.  Peering at the colorful covers of our favorite magazines, one jumped out at us immediately.  It was Vogue’s December issue, and we were instantly touched by the way the issue was striving to include the concerns of everyday women in its fashion editorial.  Why, just look at this cover line:

Cocktail dresses that don’t cost a fortune

Aw, it’s adorable when an elite (elitist?) publication works to speak to us little people.  We ought to give them credit—this one-and-a-half page article in the 430-page December issue really forced the staff to break out of its comfort zone of ultra-luxe fashions!  It was so sweet of them to even consider women like us that we forked over $3.99 without hesitation.  At home, we quickly flipped to “A Dress for Less,” which we were sure would be super-helpful.  It took just five minutes to read the entire article, and we definitely appreciate Vogue being so considerate of our busy schedule!

On further reflection, we have to thank Vogue for something else: not prolonging our illusions a moment more than necessary. Not for a single second were we forced to carry on under the misapprehension that the story would feature a single thing that we could afford!  In fact, we only had to read the caption, which lists writer Marina Rust’s dress by 3.1 Phillip Lim at $995, to know that we wouldn’t find a one scrap in this story that was even remotely moderate.

All of this was confirmed by the ninth sentence in the piece.  So efficient, Marina!

…“What’s affordable?”

“You know,” [a Vogue editor] says, a shrug in her voice.  “Under a thousand.”

“Under a thousand” is way more than we can spend on a dress, but that’s okay!  We don’t take it personally! We’re totally still friends, Ms. Wintour!  Why are we so quick to forgive?  Because Rust takes the time to actually explain her complex system of determining how much of her earnings she should allot to clothing. Practical and smart!

When a friend calls to say she just got three dresses, each under $400…I do fashion math. Three trendy dresses x $400=$1,200, or one Lanvin blouse that can be worn forever. Shouldn’t I be saving for the blouse?

Shouldn’t she be saving for her house payment?  We’re just looking out for her!

In any case, the ladies at Vogue were incredibly kind to Marina. They even delivered 40 dresses directly to her home so she could try them on!  We’re totally jealous.  She complained that, since some of the dresses were samples, they didn’t actually fit her, but we’re certain she’s just being modest, since we can clearly discern, like, a dozen individual bones in the photo of her on page 256. Besides, complaining when someone does you a favor? Sounds a tad ungrateful to us.

Here are some of the gowns Rust tried, courtesy of the altruists at Vogue.  (Oh, and did that sound sarcastic?  Are we losing our idealism already?)

—A 3.1 Phillip Lim log gown for $995

—Black silk from Jason Wu, $759 (Note: we are not ashamed to tell you that we have never heard of this designer.   That’s okay!   We like to learn something new every single day!)

—A $425 Tory Burch

—And the most money-conscious choices:  a $366 Graham & Spencer dress and a fuchsia Tibi tunic that retails for $385

So, after squeezing into all those gorgeous gowns, which one did she end up with?  Such suspense there would be, if anything more important than Marina’s appearance were at stake here!  In her words:

That night, at a cocktail party, I run into my editor.  

“What happened to frugal?” she asks.  

“This is frugal,” I tell her, regarding my navy-blue Thakoon.  “Seven hundred and fifty dollars, I bought it this afternoon.”  

“Well done,” she nods.  

Indeed!  We can’t think of a better way to spend $750!  Better still, whip-smart Marina’s not done hunting for bargains:

At that moment, Diane Von Furstenberg walks by and says hello. She is wearing the perfect black shift…Later, I find out the price: $475. Hmm. $750 + $475 = I’m set through February, no blouse or belt needed.

Bravo! For just $1,225 (or way more than we have to spend on clothes), Marina managed to stretch her cash to cover two whole dresses, and, as part of the bargain, alienate tons of readers who paid money to read this!  Only a truly thrifty woman could manage that with so little cash. 

Comments

[Lola]

I blame the damn republicans!

[Anne]

For $750, I can either pay my rent for 2 months (yay Midwest real estate prices) or buy a "navy blue Thakoon" whatever the hell that is. But where will I live? IN the navy blue Thakoon? I'd have to, but fortunately for me, that buys a lot of yards of fabric, so this dress must be the size of a circus tent.

[Mary]

I can't stop thinking about this. The only garment I've spent anywhere near that amount on was my wedding dress. If I spent $750 on one outfit, I would consider it an extremely extravagant expense (that's triple-ex!). That's madness.

And a navy blue Thakoon sounds like something out of Dr. Seuss.

[callie]

I AGREE! I saw this and found it SO annoying that Marina Rust had to lower herself to the "budget" of $1,25!!! And even though she deigns to list a J Crew dress, its $550! The most expensive dress in the store, short of their wedding dresses!

As I mentioned in my book post about the same Vogue issue (http://counterbalance.typepad.com/counterbalance/2007/12/vogues-holiday.html), I sometimes feel that Vogue represents an entirely different world that the one we actually live in. Almost like science fiction!

[Glossed Over]

Isn't it funny that so many of us had a similar reaction? The more we think about it, the less we're appalled by the actual prices and the more we're disgusted by the total lack of acknowledgment that $750 (or even $475) is an insane--and for many of us, impossible--amount of money to spend on one dress. Sure, Vogue's a fantasy (or science fiction, as Callie said), but they could at least have the grace to admit that.

Geez. We're really worked up about this today. Probably because not counting our wedding gown (which cost less than the DVF dress Marina Rust bought), we didn't spend $750 on clothes all year.

[Emily]

The word "thakoon" is making me piss myself. I'm hereby adopting it as my new swear. It's the new 'santorum'.