Cosmopolitan's Advice Fails the Test of Time

We figured out long ago that the love advice in Cosmopolitan sucks.  Seems the staffers at Cosmo finally figured that out, too.  In “7 Love Rules You Need to Break,” November, they single out four spectacularly misguided bits of counsel they doled out between 1966 and 1968. (“Tell your mom we’re sorry.”)  For instance:

Always be sure to invite some beautiful girls whom [your guy] will find amusing.  Don’t make the fatal mistake of including too many homosexuals.

Fatal?

We snickered at the outdated guidance, but much of the current advice isn’t too far removed from those suckers of yore—especially since much of it is contradicted by tips elsewhere in the same issue.    What advice will Cosmo be apologizing for in 2047?  Here are our nominees for the worst of the November issue.

1.  From “7 Love Rules You Need to Break”:

Let Him Be Your Superman

“Men are certainly attracted to independent women, but if you’re completely self-sufficient, they feel kind of useless,” says [psychologist Joseph] Rock…But give him the ego boost of letting him do the things he’s particularly good at, whether it’s making his killer mushroom risotto, lugging your groceries upstairs with that much-vaunted upper-body strength, or just driving in the snow.

Yep, wouldn’t want to be so good at, you know, living your own life that you make him feel marginalized!

2.  From “I Catch Cheaters for a Living”:

Participate in your guy’s personal passions (if he invites you to), and show him what makes you tick.  No real connection can exist if it’s a one-way street.

So a woman feigning interest in a man’s hobbies isn’t a one-way street?  They must have different traffic laws in Cosmo land!  Also, this is the polar opposite of the advice given in “7 Love Rules You Need to Break,” where women are advised to maintain their own hobbies and spend some time engaging in those hobbies solo.

3.  From “Cosmo Weekend”:

At a crowded party, grab a cute guy, tell him you can’t find your friend (no need to have one there with you), and ask if he has seen her.  When he says no, start chatting him up while you “wait” for her.

Always good to launch a relationship with a little deception!  Again, these Cosmo girls aren’t reading their own magazine.  In “100 Things You Need to Know About Guys,” we learn this:

Their favorite way for you to hit on them: just say hi or ask them a question about themselves.

Things really do move more quickly these days, don’t they?  Instead of forty years, Cosmo figured out it was peddling nonsense in the space of a few pages!

Comments

[JSE]

Cosmo is such a sad, sad mag. It's desperation wrapped up in a sparkly, shiny coating. Your analysis is spot on!

[The Brunette]

I honestly was tempted to buy this issue because there's an actual model on the cover.