More Vogue: Grooming Habits of the Grossly Overprivileged

No, no, we’re not liveblogging the rest of Vogue.  (Sure, we’re masochistic for even trying, but we aren’t gluttonous enough to go at it again.) Anyway, the September issue is practically bursting with content from Plum Sykes, whom we love to loathe—three whole articles!  We’d only read her personal essay about her life-changing endeavor to wear brooches.  (Which we bemoaned at length in our live blog, mostly due to, well, its length.)

But there are two more pieces penned by Ms. Sykes in this issue!  First up, there’s a breathless account of a Manhattan hair atelier, “At the Parlor.”  The premise: stylist Ashley Javier caters to the wealthy and famous by cutting their hair in his penthouse apartment…on an invitation-only basis.   Oh, what a tempting glimpse at the services available to those with lots of money and nothing to spend it on but their tresses!  Still, those joining the exclusive ranks of Javier’s clientele may find his services rather challenging.  See, his clients must first wind their way through—gasp!—an unfashionable part of Manhattan!

There is a scruffy gray commercial building on the corner of Twenty-eighth Street and Fifth Avenue.  Devoid of glamour, it is situated on the kind of grim Manhattan intersection that can provoke clinical depression in even the cheeriest girl.

Well, we’re depressed by the prospect of a hair salon to which clients must be invited, but we don’t think that’s what Plum’s talking about.  And speaking of a downer:

Cuddling the Yorkie, [Javier] says the dog was “a gift from Jemma Kidd and Arthur Mornington.  He’s called Tennessee, but his middle name is Morningkidd.”

Seriously?  People give their dogs middle names?  Also, exclusive hairstylists apparently speak their own language:

When he arrived on Twenty-eighth Street, “This place was harrogatha!  Harrogatha!”

We do not know this word.  Anyone?

For good measure, one of our favorite quotes from the article!

He started decorating in earnest, and “my taste fell together.  If you want to get close to yourself, forget therapy.  Decorate.”

Even better is this gem from Chloe Sevigny:

“I need a snip.  I’m going out for dinner with Bill Paxton.”  Ashley explains that he only “dusts” Chloe’s hair.  “I don’t trust L.A. hairdressers,” she adds…

Must be difficult, not being able to find one single person to cut your hair in a metropolitan area of thirteen million people.  Who knew the Los Angeles area faced such a dire shortage of appropriately trained stylists?  Someone launch a charity event, quickly!

Finally, as Plum wraps up her stay at the penthouse/salon:

Ashley, still bubbling with infectious energy, exclaims, “Adios, Sugarpuss!’…

If only we could bid farewell to Sugarpuss Sykes!  Alas, we’ll be flipping to her third contribution to the September issue, “Village People,” to discover which part of the lives of the over-privileged she’ll illuminate for us next.  We have so much to learn!

Comments

[Mamablanks]

Harrogatha? Is that a Beowulf reference? I'm so confused...

[Copy]

"Harrogatha" sounds like a word from a Gwen Stefani song.

[laylaness]

Dusting? Harrogatha? He sounds almost as pretentious as Jonathan Antin.

[Lara]

Hey! I'm a down to earth, non-New Yorker and *my* cat has a middle name! She's Princess Pecan Padfoot of the country Catonia. Just thought I'd share! ;)

[regina]

My dog has a middle name, but he's French! Well, French Canadian.

[mi]

loved your impression of that article, very similar to my own thoughts!!!!