Scoping Out September Issues: InStyle

The issue weighs: 3 full pounds

Issue thickness:  Nearly an inch

Who’s on the cover: Gwen Stefani looking somehow different than usual. We can’t decide if she’s the victim of extreme Photoshopping or if this is what she actually looks like. 

Who bought the back cover: Yves Saint Laurent, with a gorgeous, moody ad featuring Gisele Bundchen

Most misleading cover line:

Most Revealing Star Photos Ever

Revealing?  Bah!  These photos are about as racy as pics of your grandmother in a skirted bathing suit.  Rachel Bilson wears a bra, but is covered from her rib cage to her knees.  Ooh, daring!  Denis Leary is shirtless!  Eh.  Joy Bryant’s entire leg is on display!  Ben Stiller displays a whopping five inches of sternum.  We aren’t saying that celebs should doff their clothes for a camera (or that we actually have the desire to see Stiller without his shirt), but these pics reveal nothing. They’re decently composed photos, but ultimately?  Nothing to see here except the black-and-white photo of legendary jerk Terence Howard stretched across two patio chairs in his underwear, if only because it has to be the most awkward, uncomfortable pose ever and we like to think of it as a form of cosmic retribution.

Number of ad pages between the cover and the table of contents: 50

Total number of pages: 618

How many of those pages are ads: 284, about 46 percent (source: MIN Online)

Subscription cards: Two bound, no blow-ins. Less mess!

Cosmetic samples: We can actually smell our copy from across the room now that we’ve peeled open the samples inside. It is pure perfume overload in this issue: Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue, Dior J’adore, Guerlain My Insolence, Usher The Scent for Women, L.A.M.B. by Gwen Stefani (natch), and Fendi Palazzo. The worst by far is Usher’s, which is foul—it’s reminiscent of fruity air freshener blended with turpentine. And the essence of Usher as a fragrance? Gag-inducing.

Is it portable? Not unless you’re a lumberjack and therefore accustomed to lugging around this much dead tree. Leave it at home.

Comments

[T-Bone]

It's very odd, but Gwen looks like Holly Hunter in this particular photograph.