Lesser Celebs, Lessons Imparted In Life & Style Weekly

We don’t normally read Life & Style Weekly—for reasons that should be fairly obvious—but when a few pages from the new issue popped up in our inbox, we couldn’t resist taking a look.  Check out the caption on this photograph of Heidi Montag (from The Hills, which we do watch, for reasons that should be fairly obvious) modeling an Ashley Paige swimsuit at Miami’s Fashion Week.

Good thing she got that boob job!

Really, why is it a good thing?  The suit would have stayed up on its own, so...is it good because without the implants she could never have modeled? (Doubtful, considering the size of the average runway model, not to mention that this modeling gig is more likely the result of MTV’s cameras than Heidi’s merits.)  Because without fake breasts she would never have been considered attractive? (Nah, we think she looked better before the surgery.) We’re stumped. 

If her new shape makes her feel confident and  happy, great—but why is a magazine promoting breast implants?  There’s just no reason for a magazine to say it’s a “good thing” in a foreboding tone, as if some horrible fate awaited her otherwise, as if all women should be expected to have bountiful breasts, as if only big-breasted women are beautiful.

That may be the most blatant promotion of plastic surgery we’ve ever seen in print.  Still, in Heidi’s case, it probably is a genuinely good thing.  See, without the surgery (and the engagement—why do we know this?), she might not be getting any attention whatsoever.  Looks like the surgery helped her elude the unspeakably terrible fate of anonymity...for now, anyway.

Comments

[Phaeolus]

Maybe it's sarcasm?- that suit isn't particularly flattering to the girls. Although the "Work it, Girl!" tagline at the bottom kind of negates that idea. I will continue to take it sarcastically- it's more fun that way.

[anastasia s.]

That is really repulsive that Life and Style weekly would say that...but they have to compete, you know? With US weekly, People weekly, Ok weekly, and whatever else there is out there weekly, so they can't exactly afford the most intelligent writers, right? You know, I think she would have looked better in that suit before the implants, and with a little less of the carrot juice she decided to bathe in before she hit the runway. I think I read, in this same magazine, years ago...you know that girl from Whale Rider? Well she was at some awards show, and she was (gasp!) furrowing her brow. The caption said "Botox Anyone?" She was THIRTEEN. Way to go, Life and Style, I have now been reminded why I don't peruse you in the grocery aisle.

[Tanya]

I'm pretty sure it's sarcasm. That suit would fit exactly the same on a fourteen year-old boy.

[erin]

Evidently, Heidi hasn't been introduced to the theory that even if it's a good bargain, if it doesn't fit properly, it's just a waste of money. When I first saw this, I was overwhelmed with the need to find some vodka to add to the orange to create a screwdriver. Further inspection left me confused as to what this garment really is. A faded out dishtowel that has been clumsily draped over her falsies, secured by .99 cent yarn bin scraps at Michaels?

[eye4style]

I think it's sincere. I don't believe that any celebrity magazine has mastered the art of sarcasm.

[Lola]

Could she possibly look more orange? Seriously, if you had a runway modeling gig and you were that orange, would you go through with it? I just couldn't bring myself to leave the house looking like that.
Her implants are awful. She looked so much better before. I bet it was that douchebag Spencer's idea.