Bazaar's Tradition of Off-Putting Covers Continues

It’s not quite on par with the Paris-Nicole fiasco, but the August cover of Bazaar is still appalling.  Featuring Jessica Simpson with a bundle of balloons on the beach (and visible wrinkles around her eyes and mouth) and the magazine’s typically generic cover lines, this cover is clearly designed to attract—well, who exactly?

Comments

[Emily]

Aw, don't pick on Jess, she'd put on a little bit of weight prolly and that pose was designed to elongate. You're right though, it didn't quite come off, it looks a little contortionate.

The eye-wrinkles are actually quite cute, I think crows feet are rather attractive, I remember watching Melrose Place and thinking Heather Locklear's eyes were beautiful, I first thought was her eyeliner technique- it sort of was, but in fact the wrinkles contributed. Recent pics of Heather show she's had them removed.

The subject of Jess's teeth though is something that ought to be visited- they re really disconcertingly white and... opaque? Like she's gone at them with Tippex.

[Glossed Over]

Jessica just seems like an uninspired, overexposed choice for the cover. And between the pose and the color, the whole thing seems kind of late-80s Mademoiselle or something. Dated.

We don't know what to think about the wrinkles. On the one hand, it's great to see a face that hasn't been airbrushed to oblivion. But after seeing porcelain-smooth complexions on every other Bazaar cover, we wonder about this as a deliberate artistic choice on the part of the magazine. Why her? Why now? But she actually looks her age, which is refreshing and, overall, a positive thing to put on a magazine cover.

We can't stop looking at those teeth, now that you mention it...

[mag girl]

Hear, hear on the late '80s Mademoiselle vibe.

Also, can someone please call Bazaar out on their use of the most generic cover lines EVER? They refuse to highlight an actual story angle and instead insist on un-wowing us with the same bland promises every month. I really don't want to see "Fabulous at Every Age" or "Best Beauty Buys" on another Bazaar cover, ever again.

Oh, but wait -- where's the ever-present cover number? This must be the subscriber cover, no? I demand 735 new style ideas!

[Alexandrialeigh]

While I agree that this is a pretty awful cover, I don't think celebs should be so airbrushed that they don't have any wrinkles. Faces like Demi Moore's (ageless on a very bizarre level) are much scarier, in my opinion...

[TLC]

YES! on the lack of airbrushing. I'm assuming they opted to show Simpson's wrinkles since they are discussing the topic of age, even though she's, what... 24?

NO! on generic leads.

NO! on the teeth. Perhaps they've been airbrushed? Gotta keep that airbrusher busy somehow, I suppose.

Also: if you are looking at her face, the detail on her swimsuit appears as pixelation. That's just visually distracting.

[alex]

Aside from the fact that I can't figure out why she's even on a cover right now, there are so many curious things about this cover: Why are those balloons coming out of her head? Where is her arm coming from exactly? Why doesn't she have an elbow?

Elle Girl did a cover with Nicole Richie on the beach holding a bunch of balloons a couple years back much more sucessfully - not quite as close up of course - and it was cute and endearing.

This just makes me feel bad for her.

[Kittenplan]

In light of all the Faith Hill photoshopping craziness going on at Jezebel, I'm really happy to see some smile lines and eye wrinkles on a magazine cover--lord, this is what real people actually look like. Are we so used to seeing scary plastic fembots on covers that this is repulsive? There are plenty of things to hate about the cover, but definitely not the smile lines.

[Mrs Fashion]

Oh, I thought you were doing vintage covers and this was Stephanie Seymour in 1989. But then, I don't have my glasses on...
Mrs F x

[DMT]

I think the extended arm is a fake. For that matter, everything but her head is fake. How do you raise your arm that high and the shoulders don't get all squishy. Besides, they centered the photo so that all you look at are those fangs, and she looks as if she could lick her nose with her tongue. Something is going on with the other armpit that they had to cover it with the type. Not a good mag cover at all.

[lambman]

Am I the only one who likes it just because it looks like the exact same pose/outfit/layout you would have seen with Cindy Crawford 15 years ago?

[KMM]

How does she function without shoulders?

[erin]

At first, I thought "Oh how cute - they dug up a circa '91 pic of Tiffani Amber Thiessen and slapped it on the cover!". Then, I found my glasses, and had to apologise profusely to Tiff-Amb. The facial lines concern me, as does the use of a life size Barbie arm. The most disconcerting of all is that it appears J.Simp has a grapefruit colored slug plastered over the fangs (to perhaps keep them in tact?). Some refer to this as "lip". I'm sticking with grapefruit colored slug.

[LMB]

It looks like they've done something totally bizarre with her shoulders *and* put a different head-shot on this body-shot. She has no shoulders and there's a strange offness to the angle of her head in relation to her neck. Did they Photoshop out her right shoulder (on *our* left) so it wouldn't interfere with the typography? Am I seeing things, or does her face look too big in relation to her body? I mean, Jess may have lost some weight, but I've never thought of her as a Lollipop.

[Blurgle]

She looks like the Wicked Witch of the West as drawn by Art Frahm.

Which makes me wonder if she's got balloons in her arms or celery.

And also makes me glad the picture doesn't go all the way down.

[mityou]

This looks like a magazine cover from the early 90's.

[Brooke]

Wrinkles?? Those minute eye-crinkles on a woman who's *smiling*? I get that's she's twenty-something, but how tight do you want her face to be? Compared to her flat hair color, unnaturally white teeth, plastic facial expression, and awkward pose, crow's feet seem insignificant.

[Emily]

LMB I really think you are right actually, it does look like her head is stuck on someone elses body, every angle of every limb is just too weird.

[Taunja]

It just hit me that she looks like a Barbie whose hands are stretched over her head a little too far back. Yep. That is massively creepy.

[Daisy]

Her neck has clearly been stretched in this photo. And where her head is located on the body and the pose all together if mighty awkward to say the least!

[peaceful]

damn!
i thought this was a knockout cover!
very mid-late 1980s, and much better than some of the vogue stuff!
and for once jessical simpson looks radiant!

[rien]

This is just a perfect lure for your average soccer mom. Caked-on makeup, conservative-nice beachwear in a nice, mom-ish color.. she even looks older.

This is pretty much what all of my aunts aspire to look like on a good day.

[Mumsy]

Her teeth have been that frightening for years. Where IS her right shoulder? And really those cover lines appear so often I am thinking that they have one cover template from which they work each and every month. J.Simp may be an silly fame whore but let's not jump on her for "wrinkles". People's eyes crinkle when they smile and I think it's the best part of her look on this sad, sad cover.

[Blurgle]

This is not late 80s. This is not 90s.

This is 1946, pure and simple, right down to the bathing suit and the eyebrows.

[WendyB]

I don't have any issues with her skin. Magazines and celebrities get jumped on for excessive airbrushing but then they get jumped on again for seeing any skin that's remotely natural. Smile lines by the eyes and mouth are totally acceptable, in my opinion, and I wish we saw more of that on covers.