Actresses Tragically Overworked in the Pages of InStyle

After our earlier debacle with InStyle Weddings, we sprinted back into the arms of the familiar regular edition.  The devil you know, etc.  But we were equally shell-shocked by what we found inside:  Apparently, the rigors of stardom are claiming untold numbers of victims.  It’s not just Paris, Lindsay, and Nicole facing adversity—it's practically the whole town!  How else can you explain that InStyle ran out of actresses to feature and merely used the same faces over and over in the June issue?

Katherine Heigl?  Three appearances.  Sienna Miller?  Four pages.  Molly Sims?  Four photos and a Cover Girl ad.  Not counting actresses who are the subjects of features (like Eva Longoria in “Style Diary,” whose appearance had nothing to do with Revlon’s four-page front of the book ad buy featuring—who else—Eva Longoria, right?), Mischa Barton and Jennifer Lopez tied with Drew Barrymore for a winning five mentions apiece.  What’s going on here?  Did Fred Segal close?  Or is InStyle suffering from a lack of imagination, the undue influence of a cadre of publicists, and/or a dearth of appropriate wire-service photos?

Whatever the cause, something has got to be done to help those beleagured actresses whose stylist-approved outfits weren’t deemed worthy of an InStyle trend piece, not to mention the overworked darlings who appear on multiple pages here.  Mischa has problems, you know; she can’t exemplify a different style every night.  (Though some actresses certainly try—that must be why they end up hospitalized for exhaustion, the poor dears.)  So step up, starlets!  Help out your fellow thespians!  Perhaps Hayden Panettiere can handle a few events, or Keira Knightley can wear a gold-plated squirrel around her neck.  Someone’s got to consider the plight of these over-extended actresses.  And someone’s got to consider who’ll show up in the July issue of InStyle.

Comments

[allie]

Why is everyone (you, Jezebel) hating on the gold-plated squirrel?! I like the gold-plated squirrel!

[Glossed Over]

Wearing a rodent around our neck just doesn't appeal. We do like the ladybug and the bee from the same collection, though, so obviously our taste (in creatures and in jewelry) isn't exactly unassailable.