A Glossed Over Guide: Becoming a Big-Time Beauty Editor

We never thought being a beauty editor was a particularly simple task—if you know what all those different mascara brushes do, you’re way ahead of us—but after reading Jean Godfrey-June’s completely phoned-in column, “The Beauty Closet,” in the June issue of Lucky, we’ve changed our tune.  In fact, based on this page alone, we’ve discerned there are just four easy steps to becoming a top beauty editor:

1.  Carefully select your featured products.  Think you should patrol out-of-the-way boutiques and track down women brewing body lotion in their kitchens?  Not necessary.  It isn’t even mandatory to seek out new formulations or effective innovations to share with your readers.  In fact, all you need to do is read the press releases from a couple of national chain stores, and maybe stroll through the cosmetics aisle at CVS once in a while.  Following the example set in Jean’s June column, a typical article can contain ringing endorsements of mass-manufactured products from commonplace shops like Bath and Body Works and Crabtree & Evelyn.  And why not throw in a L’oreal lip gloss that can be purchased in pretty much any drugstore in the U.S.?  Done!

2.  Find colorful ways to describe the items. Beauty editors are supposed to be creative, so be bold with your language.  Don’t be afraid to refer to candles with nonsensical descriptions like “stuffy, stodgy chic,” and feel free to use cloying constructions like “uber-British-y.”  Not sure what these phrases actually mean?  Don’t worry!  Your readers won’t know either!

3.  Keep the big picture in mind. Never forget that, as a beauty editor, your job is to sell products that no one really needs. Don’t hesitate to overstate the cultural importance of common items like lip gloss if you think it’ll move a few more units, and be sure to couch even the most pedestrian of beauty aids in convoluted, grandiose language.  Even though no one will truly comprehend your prose, they won’t want to admit it.  For example:

Women no longer powder their noses; cigarettes are out; only lipstick remains, a final holdout of the glamorous secreting away of oneself in full view that was once the epitome of femininity.

No editor will dare to delete sweeping generalizations about the nature of womanhood!

4.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  For instance, don’t bother figuring out whether a shower foam saves time over a shower gel because it doesn’t require lathering.  No one’s going to test any of your baseless claims anyway because, well, they’re insignificant.  (How much time do you spend working up a lather in the shower?  Mere seconds!  See?)  Likewise, don’t waste a moment pondering if you, as the beauty editor, should even be recommending home accessories like candles, even if your magazine has a home decor section where candles would be much better suited.

With practice and persistence, a beauty editor position is easily attainable.  And if you get discouraged, keep the faith:  these four steps obviously worked for Jean Godfrey-June.

Previously:  A Glossed Over Guide: Parlaying Your Pregnancy Into Press

Comments

[Kristen]

Good advice, Ms. Glossed Over. :)

RE: #1 - As someone who lives in the suburbs and an hour away from a major city (Seattle, at that), I get kind of excited to find something that I can buy at the drugstore or local mall instead of some shady storefront in New York City (where Lucky seems to find most of their fashion items). But maybe that's the point. Lucky makes things so out of my league (price- and location-wise) that when I see something I can afford and obtain easily, it makes me want to drive to the store IMMEDIATELY. They're doing their job well: Lucky makes me want to shop, even for things I don't need.

[Glossed Over]

Fair enough. Featuring accessible and affordable products isn't at all a bad thing, and Lucky does a good job of featuring both drugstore items and high-end beauty products.

But since the beauty section of Lucky is already filled with dozens of accesible products, we hoped that Jean Godfrey-June would single out some truly exceptional items. But this month's crop was uninspired (perhaps the best thing about them is that they can be easily found in any section of the country). Plus, we read magazines not just to find stuff we can buy, but to keep up with new products on the market, so we expect that the beauty editor might venture a little further afield than the local mall.

[aulelia]

how do they even choose beauty editors anyway? in some british mags, some of the products they pick are so bad that i am surprised they even still have their jobs.

[maggirl]

the british mags are so far in the pockets of advertisers that it makes the american mags seem independent and objective.

which is saying a lot because nearly every u.s. magazine i've encountered is forced to give plenty of product placements to their advertisers. as if every new product by l'oreal/la mer/etc. was the *best new product ever*. my favorite is always the cover makeup credits, which are given to whoever the cover model is in contract with (and when they're not under contract, to a big advertiser). i'd love to see a big-time makeup artist actually putting cover girl lipstick on julianne moore sometime.

(god, i feel so shamed because despite the fact that i know all this, jean's watermelon ice lip gloss recommendation was on sale at the drugstore last week and i *bought* it. incidentally, it is way too pink.)

have you read jean's book yet? at the risk of sounding catty/snipe-y/snotty (too late), it is so unfocused and rambling that it practically makes her monthly columns seem like shakespeare.

[Stunt_Girl]

I'm intruiged as to what the hell she found to describe as “uber-British-y".

[Glossed Over]

Stunt_Girl, here's Jean's contribution to international understanding:

America is a shower culture, British people like to say, somewhat disparagingly. My husband works part-time in London, and indeed, even finding an apartment with a shower included was a bit of a challenge. This uber-British-y item [Crabtree & Evelyn shower foam], however, would seem only to affirm and further enable our go-go-go ways...

...and so on.

[M]

"...only lipstick remains, a final holdout of the glamorous secreting away of oneself in full view that was once the epitome of femininity."

What the hell is she trying to say exactly? Lipstick is such a commonplace item that it really does not require such a ridiculous statement. This is exactly why I stopped reading that awful magazine.