Glamour: Still Playing Guy Guessing Games

We called out Glamour a while back for aping nonsense from other magazines, but to no avail.  They’re up to their old tricks with “His bedroom, decoded,” in April’s issue.  We’re guessing that some Glamour staffer is heavily involved in industrial espionage, because this thing seems lifted straight out of Cosmopolitan.  (Though, to be fair, Cosmo probably would have had an interior decorator or, like, an astrologer comment on the men’s rooms, while Glamour commissioned a psychologist—with a Ph.D., yet—for this article.)

The bobbleheads, the petrified plant: What does a man’s inner sanctum say about him?

The guy with blue walls, a bottle of wine, and candles?  A romantic.  The stock trader is a workaholic.  And the 28-year-old who collects bobbleheads?  Unpredictable.  Ooh, shocking!  As if you need a Ph.D. to figure these things out.

And we know this article is supposed to be light-hearted, but really, there’s no reason to further propagate the idea that men are unknowable creatures who can only be solved using contextual clues.  Especially when some truly disturbing clues are treated so dismissively—for instance, one guy has BARBED WIRE in his bedroom.  Creepy deal-breaker, right?  Nope!  He’s just quirky!  Sorry, but a total lack of personal effects except for barbed wire just screams serial killer to us.  (Though, of course, we’re sure he’s a very nice guy.  Ahem.)  Glamour, why not call the barbed-wire guy a weirdo and the candle dude a player? 

Instead of sticking to bland observations better suited to teen magazines, give that extra page to Jake.  We’d rather read about these bizarre beings called men first-hand than analyze  their wallpaper.