Happy New Year! Cosmopolitan Rings in 1958

Just in time to ring in 2007, Cosmopolitan’s “Guy Spy,” January, proffers some truly outdated advice.  Sure, we’ve all heard that business about women and men using different parts of their brains for conversation (and some of us even had to write essays on that very topic in college), but we think it’s time for a new spin on the subject.  Cosmo’s take?

When you're trying to make conversation, your guy’s eternal wordless stretches can feel like cause for alarm.  But dudes naturally clam up until they have some burning comment to share.

Or until they’re marginally interested in the conversation. 

Nonetheless, we don’t think it’s too much to ask for magazines like Cosmo to stop twisting studies like this:

“Women process language on both sides of their brains, while guys only use one side,” says brain-imaging specialist Daniel G. Amen, MD, author of Sex on the Brain.

into stereotype-reinforcing nonsense like this alleged nugget of wisdom.

To get him chatting, tune into topics he’s into, like work, TV, or his accomplishments.

Ah, so instead of finding common ground (or finding a guy who can actually manage to converse about things other than himself), just talk about him!  This sounds like advice from a dating handbook straight out of Leave It to Beaver.  Forget any idealistic notions of open communication—turns out men are only interested in discussing work (just their own, we’re guessing), television (but only sports and shows with frequent explosions), and their accomplishments (because they wouldn’t want to date women whose accomplishments might outshine their own). 

We’re surprised Cosmo didn’t take the next logical step by suggesting other suitably masculine subjects sure to spark conversation—you know, power tools, domestic beer, and that mega-hot chick on the cover of Maxim.  Never mind the radical idea of free-flowing conversation between men and women—Cosmo probably won’t get around to promoting that until at least 2046.