We Read It So You Don't Have To: Cosmo Aims for Funny, Manages Only Insipid
Today marks the debut of a new feature here at Glossed Over: We Read It So You Don’t Have To. Self-explanatory, right?
The initial recipient of the WRISYDHT treatment is “Hilarious ‘I Work at Cosmo’ Tales,” from August’s issue of—yes—Cosmopolitan. As you might have divined from the over-reaching title, the tales aren’t remotely close to funny. To save you both the trouble of reading the measly one-page piece and the subsequent brain cell death you’ll experience, here’s what the article boils down to:
When staffers reveal to strangers that they work at Cosmo, their new acquaintances incorrectly assume:
- they’re oversexed and fascinated by other people’s personal lives.
- they work in an office straight out of a teenage boy’s fantasy, complete with lingerie-clad editors having giggly pillow fights.
- they’re surrounded by, like, totally hot girls all the time! Yowza! Can you believe the luck of some people? Models are, like, totally awesome!
Thrilling, we know.
Why was this less-than-insightful article even published in the magazine? Perhaps an actual article—and by “actual,” we mean one that doesn’t focus solely on Cosmo staffers—was canceled, and this was the quickest and cheapest way to fill page 185. Twenty-four hours before the issue heads to the printers? Quick, send out an email to everyone in the office!
It’s not like most readers have any actual experience working at Cosmo and can therefore identify with—or refute—the oh-so-wacky stories recounted. We’re fairly certain the staff doesn’t make editorial decisions in their underwear (if they did, we’d expect the team at Cosmo to be the stars of their own reality show), but it’s still self-important bad form to publish inside jokes and expect the rest of us to be amused. Next time Cosmo promises hilarity, they ought to write about something other than themselves.