Leave the Covers to the Experts, Please

We tried diligently (you know, as if it really mattered) to divine the cause of our burning dislike for Jessica Simpson, but we kept coming up a bit short.  Sure, there’s the obnoxious now-standard bit of playing—we assume—stupid for the cameras.  There was The Dukes of Hazzard and that breathy Pizza Hut commercial that makes us want to heave a huge chunk of lead at our television.  And there’s the pervasive flood of Jessica Simpson merchandise arriving in stores daily.  (Did you know she has a clothing line?  And a line of shoes?  You can’t escape.)

Still, our dislike was rather inchoate.  We were seeking that one factoid that would crystallize—and ultimately justify—our knee-jerk negative reaction to her.

And then we found it.

This is Jessica posing awkwardly on the cover of April’s issue of W:

And this is Kate Moss, also posing awkwardly but still managing to look elegant, on March’s issue:

We consider these two photos further evidence for our supposition that magazine covers should be populated only by models, not singers or actresses or, heaven forbid, singers-turned-actresses.  It’s not that Jessica is bad, per se.  But as seems to be true with the rest of her endeavors, there’s always someone else who does what she does, only much better.  Leave the magazines to the pros, Jess, and we won’t say a word about the caramel-scented body lotion.

The previous adventures of Jessica and Kate:  The Hazards of Being Jessica Simpson; Kate Moss Now Ineligible for Canonization

Comments

[MissPinkKate]

Jessica Simpson sells *plus-sized* jeans. The woman has no shame.

[Glossed Over]

There must be someone better at that, too. Vindication for our theory!