How the Other Half Lives

From the August 2005 "Editor's Letter":

News is what happens to editors, we joke in publishing (is there news in Lucky? You make the call). And the exhilaration I felt rediscovering the joys of having myself to myself again after totally failing at marriage inspired this month’s Lucky Life. I’m still a strong believer in the institution. But there’s a great song Gilda Radner sang years and years ago on Saturday Night Live called “Honey (Touch Me With My Clothes On).” Nothing beats making out on the sofa with someone new, for the very first time. Like I tell the single girls in the office: Have fun while you can. Guys do it for a reason.

We hereby retract our earlier statement.  Kim France has definitely gone the Jane Pratt route.

Here’s the rub:  The “Lucky Life” feature is oh-so-wistfully titled “Gather Ye Rosebuds,” like France died and didn’t just get a divorce. The article, purportedly about the joys of being single, is a ludicrous lie.  First, there’s this dubious assertion from the divorcee herself:

“My bed never feels too big without company.  It’s always crowded with...outfits, stationery, my cellphone...”

Clearly, Kim, you’re a slob.  Also, do you think your ex-husband is reading this, or are you just hoping his friends will see it and pass it on?

Then there’s this gem:

Say a guy’s at your house.  He asks for a drink.  Your small but important bar will impress him.

So that’s the secret!  We’ve been trying to impress men with our personality, intelligence, and sense of humor.

Also, isn’t this feature supposed to be about living on your own?

You just might wait forever for a guy to buy you diamonds this cool.

Indeed.  Creative director Andrea Linett gets kudos for eschewing the odious right-hand ring.  (Is it just our friends, or is it only married women who want those anyway?)

But let’s get back to what’s wrong with this article.

In our experience, men have gone crazy for some fairly random items.

In our experience too, but not the fringed halter top, bandanna, faux ponytail, and DENIM OVERALLS (we are not making this up) featured here.  Senior associate editor Emily Hsieh apparently swears by “ratty” overalls worn with a tube top.  We are confused.  Have the girls at Go Fug Yourself heard about this?

Finally, in a bit about what to wear when you’re the only single at an event, the copyeditor took a nap:

...the loose, flowy skirt is good flowy fun.

Oh, is it flowy?  Flowy skirts sure do add flowy fun to things!  (While we’re complaining, what is “flowy” fun anyway?  And how does “good flowy fun” differ from bad?)

Confidential to K.F.:  We’re terribly sorry about your divorce.  But can you keep it out of the pages of your magazine?  We subscribe for the clothes and the shoes and the makeup, not the details of your personal life.  After all, you’re no Jane Pratt.