Glossed Over Resumes May 21

Over the last two months, I haven’t read a single fashion magazine. Nonetheless, I’ve spent hours thinking and writing about them: why I started buying them, why I’ve spent so much time chasing the fantasy portrayed in the pages of Glamour and Vogue, why I became disillusioned, why I started this blog.

I have tons (like, a book’s worth) to say on all this. But for now, I just want to announce that I will resume regular posting on this site three weeks from today, on May 21. Until then, I’ll be tweaking the layout and adding some new features, so certain elements (say, the banner!) may go missing from time to time.

See you soon!

Editor's Note: Going Dark...For Now, At Least

I’ve been hesitant to say this.

After more than two and half years of posting here, I’m opting to go dark for a couple of months. The constant immersion has made me weary of the subject matter, and I fear that my waning enthusiasm is showing in my writing (and is clearly apparent in my lack thereof). So, I’m going to use this time off to read books, write about something other than magazines, and get some fresh air—not to mention a fresh perspective.

The blog and all archives will remain up. If you’d like to be automatically notified when there is new content here, you can sign up to receive posts by email under “Subscribe” in the far right-hand column. (I promise I won’t sell your email address or sign you up for Cosmo’s weekly newsletters.)

And while you’re still here reading, I want to say the most important thing of all:

Thank you.

To-Do List • Attempting to walk in Lucky’s shoes? Deadline’s approaching! The cut-off to enter the magazine’s caption-writing contest is Monday, March 3, at 11:59 p.m. Eastern.

And if you’re looking for reading material beyond the new issue of Vogue (what is up with Drew Barrymore on the cover?), these stories have captured our attention this week:

• Anna Wintour responds to Carine Roitfeld calling her a “puppet” by refusing to comment, thereby crushing our hopes for an all-out intercontinental war between the Vogue editors.

• Take a glimpse at the past—and the present, and, we fear, the future—of women’s magazines. (Thanks, Melinika!)

InStyle mixes up the non-Beyoncé members of Destiny’s Child.

• And are Holocaust memorials wildly inappropriate locales for fashion shoots? One brand, facing backlash from shots of a male model at the Vienna monument, admits they “didn’t think through everything.” Well, that much is clear. (via SuperColossal)

Bazaar Justifies Luxury Price Tags, Own Existence

For a long time, we’ve been peeved by magazines’ skewed ideas of what constitutes affordable. (Never mind the debate over whether fashion prices are deliberately exclusionary.) So pervasive is the notion that $150 is a reasonable expense for a belt that we occasionally have to wonder why our wardrobe contains so few expensive pieces. Will we ever own a pair of red-soled Louboutins? Is there some expense we could cut from our budget to be better able to afford a Balenciaga bag? Are we flat-out deluded thinking that our ensembles look like they don’t come from H&M? Not that we want those things, exactly, but we want to be able to afford them.Bazaar_march08_lindsay_lohan

And then we had a sobering experience. We were at MAGIC, talking to a sales rep. As she showed us a handful of modal t-shirts, we asked the wholesale price. “$37,” she replied.

Our response? “Oh, so that’s really accessible.” The sales rep nodded and moved on to pick up a hooded sweatshirt, and we started to hate ourselves. At a wholesale price of $37, that t-shirt likely retails for at least $70. Which, even if money were no object, is an awful lot of cash to spend on a mere tee, and $70 is certainly not a mass-market price for a little cotton shirt. But in the moment we deemed that particular price point “accessible,” we wholeheartedly believed it. We were sleep-deprived, we’d already spent days walking the never-ending aisles of the show seeing pieces whose prices were far more unjustified, and, well, the t-shirts were baby-blanket soft. (We just feel fortunate that we snapped back to reality before we broke out the Visa card at the Fashion Show Mall later in the week.)

All of which is a really long way of saying that, having been immersed in a fantasy land of desirable consumer goods, we sort of understand how writers for Bazaar choke up the nerve to refer to a $300 cardigan as a “steal.” So our interest was piqued by “Why Does It Cost So Much?” in the March issue. Why, indeed?

Unfortunately, the article devotes just one brief paragraph to the actual reasons why apparel and accessories bear exorbitant price tags. Discard any notions of getting an educational glimpse inside the industry! Rather, the focus is on “how to cope and still look cool.” Here’s what writer Nandini D’Souza had to say:

...I held up my beloved pair of silver Dries Van Noten leather sandals...“How much do you think these cost?” I asked my husband, playing devil’s advocate. “Flip-flops are cheap,” he analyzed in a finance-thinking way. “But since they’re designer, $40, maybe $50.”

Until then, I had never doubted the $300-plus I had shelled out a few years ago for them…I started questioning my sanity: More than $300 for flip-flops?...I had thought I was one of the more frugal fashion editors around. But I wondered, when did everything get so expensive, and when did I stop noticing?

This apparently sincere question is followed by a litany of agreement from people who can actually afford those $300 flip-flops. Which, you know, is annoying. Can you really complain that $500 is too much to pay for shoes when, in fact, you have the ability to buy $500 shoes? (Tangential whine: when did “social” become acceptable parlance for “socialite”?)

“Social” Nina Griscom says,

“The prices today are so astronomical.”

And designer Jenni Kayne weighs in:

“You can’t get a pair for less than $500; $300 used to be the normal expensive shoe.”

So who’s to blame for these ultra-pricey pieces? Designers! Phillip Lim explains himself.

“A dress can cost you $20,000. That’s a whole lot of money,” he says. “You can renovate your kitchen for that, or for some people that’s their salary or their child’s school tuition. You start to feel guilty.”

Start?

For one, lines like Lim’s 3.1 Phillip Lim and Kayne’s label are filling the yawning gap between high and low. Socialite turned designer Tory Burch says, “The whole reason I started my company is because fashion is expensive.”

Tory Burch also charges $195 for a striped cotton tee, so forgive us if we aren’t exactly in agreement with her assessment of “expensive.”

To be fair, the article does give some reasonably good (if not novel) advice about not buying things just because they’re on sale, and recommends that women develop a uniform that suits their body type and lifestyle so they don’t feel the need to give in to every passing trend. However, the article gets progressively more grating, predictably returning to the justification of the positively vulgar price tags of luxury goods. What else can be expected from people whose livelihoods are dependent on the public buying costly stuff they don’t need? A chorus of fashion people rationalize their expenditures thusly:

On a $1,300 pair of Chanel boots:

“But they’re worth it, and they make everything look chic.”

On an Oscar de la Renta dress:

“…I’ll have it for the rest of my life. You can wear it again, and it never looks like last season’s dress.”

On $800 Azzedine Alaia shoes:

“Outrageous. But I wear them a lot.”

About the $7,000-and-up Kelly and Birkin bags from Hermès:

“It’s more about what’s timeless than what’s trendy.”

And our favorite, on a handbag by Yves Saint Laurent:

“I was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s only $1,595. It’s a deal!’” she recalls. “How sad is that?”

Very, very sad. Even worse is the article’s next implication. Can’t even manage to splash out on one of these “deal”s? You’re probably fat, too!

But let’s face it, not everyone can pull off those curved contours the way Jennifer Connelly did just weeks after Nicholas Ghesquiere introduced them. That doesn’t mean that that look can’t translate for a less-than-lithe nonceleb gal. “If you can’t afford the dress, get the shirt or scarf,” says [actress/designer Katie] Nehra. [emphasis ours]

Wait, we’re confused. What exactly is our problem again? Is it that we can’t afford or can’t fit into designer garb? Never mind! Here’s another plug for Phillip Lim!

…For spring, he has several alternatives to his own runway looks, including versions of a mint Grecian dress and a citron frock with a chain neckline.

At least he’s smart enough to knock off his own designs before Forever 21 does! Though we aren’t exactly sure how this reconciles with the guilt he mentioned earlier, especially when he suggests a way to acclimate to items whose prices contain a comma.

Lim’s advice for things that seem too expensive at first? “Sit on it for a few days, maybe a week.” [emphasis ours]

However, the most incredulity-inducing quote in the whole article has nothing to do with cash money:

Echoes Burch of seasonal hits, “They’re so identifiable, and I’d rather not wear something that screams what it is.”

This from a woman who puts her logo all over her line.

Ultimately, the article concludes that we should approach our wardrobes and our retirement plans in a similar manner.

The best way to stretch your dollar while still looking like a million of them is to think long-term investment...

Designer clothes as a long-term investment? Rather ludicrous coming from a magazine that tells us we need new clothes every single month.

A Glossed Over Guide: How to Be Carine Roitfeld, Editor of French Vogue

Carine Roitfeld, the editor of French Vogue, is the subject of a profile in the current issue of New York magazine. The article by Amy Larocca radiates a staggering amount of antipathy—perhaps best exemplified by the choice to recreate Roitfeld’s Gallic accent and broken English verbatim. (Actual quote: “I have in my office—what you call in America?”)

Perhaps because we’re so accustomed to the sickly sweet world of fashion magazine profiles, where everybody loves everybody else, we were thrilled to see an actual, honest-to-goodness point of view. Whether we agree with Larocca’s take is almost irrelevant; we learned so much from this profile. Roitfeld may be near  universally revered as an arbiter of chic, but many of her secrets were laid bare. What did we learn about navigating the tricky path to becoming a top magazine editor?

Carine_roitfeld_4

1. Portray yourself in the best possible light. Literally.

She is a fiftyish woman having a double espresso in the lobby of the Carlyle on Madison Avenue. “For me, it is best to be the youngest in hotel,” she explains, “and I was not having this feeling at the Mercer.” She has come to New York for her son Vladimir’s 23rd birthday, which she celebrated the night before with dinner at Indochine. “It makes me happy because there is vewy great lighting,” she says about the restaurant. “Vewy flatter.” (Roitfeld has reached a compromise with the hard American r by converting them all to ws.)

2. Believe in yourself, regardless of immaterial details like training or education.

“Some editors, they have that, they know all the designer from the beginning of the nineteenth century. They know this is triple cashmere, this is simple cashmere. Maybe they went to fashion school. Me, I don’t. I just get a feeling about what is exciting. It is all just from feeling. So I don’t know”—she pulls her lips into a pout and gives one of those poufy little French exhales—“I think maybe I have a talent.”

3. Do everything you can to keep fashion the exclusive province of the wealthy and slender.

Because of this, Roitfeld’s French Vogue is the polar opposite of most American fashion magazines. It is unconcerned with making fashion wearable or accessible to its readers. It is not inclusive: There is no advice on how to dress if you’re shaped like a pear or about to turn 50.

In Roitfeld’s world, models are never too skinny, diamonds are never too expensive.

4. Lob passive-aggressive insults at more influential editors. (Excellent! We’ve got a head start on mastering this one.)

“The American editors are very, how you say, slick,” Roitfeld says. “Very perfect. Hair is perfect, they have a manicure. They are very clean, they follow fashion. I don’t think they take many risks. They do the total look of Prada. Me, I wear a lot of Japanese piece mixed with a bit of classic Hermès and Prada. Even though jeans suit me, I never wear jeans.”…

“It’s very difficult not to become a puppet,” she says of it all. “Like Anna, she becomes so iconic that she becomes like a puppet. I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want to wear this uniform, I don’t want to be just an envelope.”

Roitfeld styled a shoot last year in homage to Wintour’s look, puppetlike or not, starring a model with a bob, dark sunglasses, and many a fur coat. (“PETA, they like to pay attention to her, not to me,” she says, “so this is good for me.”)

5. Bite the hand that feeds you.

In an industry where accessories count for the bulk of her advertisers’ revenue, she has this to say: “Right now I think that fashion in the world becomes a bit boring. There is so much money, and I feel a bit when you go to shows they want to sell so many handbags, and for me, well, I do not like handbags. I do not wear handbags. It is not a nice look, to carry a handbag.”

6. Look for the good in everyone!

“…So people always say that I weigh my staff, and it is totally wrong. All my girls are very skinny and very chic and very beautiful. And if they are not beautiful, well, then they are very charming. So people always say that I weigh them, but no. I don’t weigh my girls.”

7. Know what tools are essential for doing your job well.

Her desk is nearly empty—Roitfeld does not know how to use a computer—save for a telephone, a pair of black suede gloves, some color printouts of a fashion shoot, and a tiny snakeskin clutch.

8. Have an open mind about other cultures!

Roitfeld is 48 hours off a ten-day vacation in Thailand during which she worked a great deal on meditation.

How was this trip?

“You think this will be so glamorous,” she sighs. “You have the idea in your mind and then you get there and the people in the hotel …” She grimaces and gestures hugely in the hip area. “There were lots of people who were so fat and like that.”

Well, we hope they were at least charming!

More Glossed Over Guides: Parlaying Your Pregnancy Into Press; Becoming a Big-Time Beauty Editor

If It's February, It Must Be Vegas   We’re headed to Vegas Monday to cover MAGIC. We’ll meet you back here Tuesday or Wednesday, provided we don’t hock our laptop for one last hand at the poker table. Update: We were overly ambitious about finding free time and spare energy (not to mention our internet connection, which was wretchedly unreliable) in Vegas. Now, we’re back in L.A., and we’ll have something new for you later today (Tuesday, 2/19).

Cosmopolitan: Going Beyond a Bright Yellow Cover to Get Attention

Okay, we’ve spent a lot of time on Cosmopolitan recently, and we fully intend to take a few days away from the Cosmo crack (so bad! so good!) and read something slightly more substantive (you know, like Marie Claire), but we bought  the March issue last night, and we feel compelled to point out one thing about it—actually, just one measly word.

Va-jay-jay?

Cosmopolitan_march08_rihanna_3

Lucky Admits Defeat, Lets Readers Write the Captions

We’re concerned about the mental welfare of the staff of Lucky, and not just because of that strange belt they stuck on poor Rachel Bilson on the March cover. No, apparently the entire masthead is suffering from a rare but serious illness known as “caption dementia,” which is not quite the same as thinking the editors are demented after reading their captions. (Besides, for us the sensation is usually more akin to rage.)

Kim France has the details in the “Editor’s Letter.”Lucky_march_08_rachel_bilson_2

It is always unusually fun for us to put together our March issue, one of the most fashion-packed of the year. But it is also our unique torture because loads of fashion means loads of text!

“Loads of text,” relatively speaking, of course. This issue does have more words than the Anthropologie catalog!

And for those of us involved in the writing and editing of this text, that leads to something known to us as caption dementia, and—while it has not yet appeared in any of the diagnostic manuals—the condition is very, very real indeed.

Oh, we’re convinced.

It sets in after one has struggled with a new way to describe that 16th peep-toe slingback in the shoe guide without repeating any other adjectives already in the shoe guide or employing any of the words I’ve banned (“yummy” or “delicious” for anything that’s not food, for example).

But “sturdying” (page 200) is okay as a descriptor.

She goes on to chronicle how dedicated the Lucky staffers are. They wake up in the middle of the night, dreaming about captions. They go out in public and practice writing captions about the women who walk by. Basically, they suffer an awful lot for their “art.”

And now they want the rest of us to suffer!

So anyway, we’ve got a challenge for you: Take a stroll in our vampy, clean-lined, retro-ish-but-smartly-updated shoes. We’re giving away a $1,000 gift certificate to Barneys New York Co-op to the soul who can bring the freshest language to four pages of our shoe guide.

Ooh! Contest-y!

Lucky’s website has the complete details. There’s also a full list of the words banned from the magazine, most of which we actually agree with. Perhaps we lack imagination, but we can’t imagine using “kooky”  to describe a pair of shoes that anyone would want to buy— and what is the point of Lucky if not to entice women to spend? Here’s the list:

adorable

bling

fashionista

fave

fierce

flair

funky

groovy

indulgence

kooky

run, don't walk

shopaholic

the final word in

whimsical

food references used to describe a nonfood item (as in "a delicious shade of pink")

Entrants must fill in captions on four pages of the shoe guide, and the deadline for submissions is March 3. We’re already dreaming about adding -y  to nouns and -ish to adjectives!

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